Wound Tight
by KQSimply
Summary: June, a childhood friend of Riley Andersen's, possesses five Emotions who help her assess and respond to life's situations. They love their bright, talented girl. Of them, however, no one is more observant, nor cares more for June's well-being, than Fear, who reluctantly controls and monitors her every move. Cover Image courtesy of Creative-Dreamr on deviantART.
1. June

**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters or landmarks from Disney Pixar's _Inside Out._ Cover Image belongs to Creative-Dreamr on deviantART . com.**  
 **Thank you so much for reading. I appreciate all of the kind words and criticism! I hope this story resonates with anyone who can relate to June's experience and state of mind. Please enjoy! ~KQSimply**

 *****Update July 25th 2015: I had an absolute blast writing this lil fic. Thanks again to everyone who was so kind and encouraging while I was working on it, and I really appreciate all of the excellent feedback and criticism.**

 **A sequel of sorts may or not be in the works, but there is no telling whether or not I will publish it - I don't want to bore anyone or go overboard with this storyline, but by the time I'd written the ending I had too many ideas for a second story. I'd also be more than happy to read any suggestions people may have for me for a second project, relating to Inside Out or not. (I have an obsession right now :D And I'm turning into such a Fear fangirl. It's terrible.)**

 **Anyway, please enjoy. I hope the story reaches anybody who may be able to relate to June's situation and mental state.  
~KQSimply  
**

* * *

June's five years old now, and I think she's wonderful. She's got lots of brown freckles on both of her cheeks and two loose teeth, and she can brush her hair and put it up into a ponytail now. Someday I know she'll be able to tie it exactly the way Mom or Dad does it. She'll be a grown-up in no-time. That's what she wants to be more than anything in the world: a grown-up. And a science teacher. Maybe a grown-up science teacher who's also a princess…but princesses, well…you have to start with a fairy or a unicorn to become a princess, and we don't have one yet.

It's sad…but the others try not to let her feel sad about it for too long. The console was built for me to share with the others here in headquarters, after all, who help her feel things other than sadness. I don't like to take over too much…I step up to drive only when I'm necessary. Joy says we'll be a Grown Up Princess Science Teacher in no time…I just tell her, "Okay," and I hope for a miracle so that no one else will be disappointed. Maybe I'm the only one who knows that unicorns and fairies are really hard to find. Disgust is convinced we will find one no matter what it takes, and Anger gets frustrated when we search but come home with nothing. Joy…she just stays positive it will happen some day. I guess you have to admire that.

To be honest, I really like Joy for a lot of reasons. She and I have something special in common, and it's that we can help June feel like herself the most when she's all alone. When the world is too much for June, when the sounds are too loud or when there are too many eyes or fingers or people, June prefers to hide, and sometimes I'm there with her. Just me. We stare at the carpet or the bed sheets, or maybe at nothing…maybe we just hug our Teddy Bear close, and we cry together. We connect. I don't like to make her cry, but I like connecting. I guess, if I had to describe it, it's kind of like being able to reach out and take hold of her hand. We feel each other while she lets all of her bad feelings go...and when she's done, and she's spent all of her tears, Joy can step up to the console and remind June that the noise and the staring and people are gone. That's when June can become June again.

I like to huddle back on the couch we have here in Headquarters sometimes and just watch what Joy is capable of helping her do. June likes to record her voice on a tape-recorder and then talk back to herself, or pretend she's a radio host with thousands of fans that listen to her. She likes to look at picture books and make up brand new stories every time she opens one. She can't wait until she can read books with bigger words and sentences. And she loves to dance. Joy has a big collection of Imagination Filters that she can call upon when she dances. We picture that we're in front of a big audience and everyone is quiet so that they can hear the music. Then, she takes a bow and everyone is cheering and clapping, and June is happy, because she remembered all of the steps perfectly, and she wasn't even a little bit nervous, even in front of all of those people. It's difficult to do these things in real life June gets scared…that's what makes them so fun to imagine.

Dancing is what powers one of June's brightest of Core Memories – those are the memories responsible for fueling each of her five Personality Islands. Oh, I'll never forget it – we – Joy and Disgust, and Anger and Fear, and myself, of course – we were watching Gene Kelly dancing on television once, and she joined in. No one was in the room at the time – not Justice, June's big brother, or Mom or Dad or even Ace, the old black dog…it was just June and Joy, dancing together. There was suddenly a big burst of light, and out tumbled a cheery, yellow memory onto the rails, where it traveled into the Core Memory Dock and powered up the beautiful Dancer Island.

In addition to this, she's also acquired Story Island, since she loves picture books and making up fairy tales – especially ones where the Princess has to save the Prince – and Family Island with its new Big Brother expansion, since June only recently realized that even when he's being annoying, Justice can be okay sometimes, and there's Puppy Dog Island, which showed up the day she gave Ace his first big hug and knew that she loved dogs. Then there's Bashful Island as well…that one is powered by a purple Core Memory – one Fear helped design one day, at a family reuinion…Bashful starts up whenever someone new looks at us and tells June how cute she looks, or that she should introduce herself. None of us are really sure what we think of Bashful Island... But we can all agree that Dancer Island is our favourite, because we all enjoy when June is happy. Even I do.

In the end, I think that is all we ever really want. Sometimes Joy doesn't quite understand why June can't _always_ be happy, but we all serve our purposes here in Headquarters to the best of our ability for June's benefit. She intuitively calls our attention to situations and we are all there to help her assess amd respond to them in whatever way we feel is most appropriate, and always with June in mind.

Anger doesn't like when people treat her unfairly, and he has a special connection with June that none of us really have. He's the only one who can make June take real action when his hands are at the console.

"Oh, _sure_ , Dad. When _Justice_ wants something of _ours_ like the TV remote or the bathroom or the juice in the fridge, it's all 'Sharing is Caring' and all 'What's Yours Is Ours', BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, but when all _we_ have to borrow is his stupid hand-made model airplane for Scientist Barbie to explore in, who cares about us? What about Sharing and Caring _now_ , Dad?! _I think Justice was a pretty ironic name if you ask me_!"

Anger's actions, of course, often land us in the time-out chair. Mom doesn't tolerate scoffs or pouts or screaming, and Dad doesn't like when June stomps her foot. But one thing is for sure – sometimes, after June has thrown a tantrum or yelled a little, she always feels a little better. We just don't admit that to Mom or Dad.

Disgust pays careful attention to the things June interacts with and judges whether they should please her or make her sick. He is familiar with all of June's favourite and least favourite colours, flavours, textures and sounds and ensures she interacts primarily with the favourite things…not so much the least-favourite.

"Chili. Okay. Chili. Wise choice Allie – for someone with impossibly stupid taste in television _(seriously, courtroom dramas? Seriously?!),_ you may have saved yourself from earning the Worst Babysitter Ever Award with chili, of all things. Oh, _EXCEPT WAIT_ – is that a mushroom? Move. Get out of the way. That is NOT a mushroom. Zoom in. Zoom in on that mess. …OMG…it's _legit_ a mushroom. That is disgusting. Congrats on your Worst Babysitter Ever award, Allie. Well done."

Maybe Disgust is a little dramatic, but June's satisfaction is his top-priority He loves when she gets to spend time with the things she likes most and knows that if she stays around the things she doesn't for too long, it can upset her. He is careful and choosy, and very observant for her.

No one, however, is more observant, nor cares more for June's well-being, than Fear.

Fear hovers over our shoulders at every opportunity, studying June's surroundings and suggesting ways in which each situation can be a little safer or easier to handle, usually by leaving it alone entirely. He has been known to panic and overreacts, sometimes, shoving us out of his way to take over the console completely. He isn't nasty or careless about it…It's plain to see that he considers it a way of protection. He loves June as much as we do...but it's true that he has a bad tendency to over-analyze situations and command too much control.

Sometimes, I'm fairly certain Fear runs this place.

It's been like this since the very beginning, according to Joy, who explained to me a few years ago that she had arrived in Headquarters just shortly behind him, meaning that he was the first to arrive, and perhaps the first to activate the console. I often wonder how that must have played out? How would June's earliest of memories looked, if they had been triggered by Fear? Only a few of June's earliest ones have stuck around after this long, like her fears of being alone in the dark, or meeting new people, or the sight of blood, like when Justice came home one time from skateboarding, with a horrible scrape on his knee.

The memories Fear helps to create throughout the day are the least of our problems, however. I personally believe it is normal and healthy to be cautious and fearful…But Fear is capable of creating something else, something other than memories. I still don't really have a name for them. They look almost like memories, but they behave differently, and bear different physics and characteristics. They are empty, for one, and weightless. They float about Headquarters when Fear causes June to worry about things that aren't really happening.

"Wait," he said to us the other night, "you know, gang, I was thinking maybe we shouldn't close our eyes just yet."  
"Why the hell not?" Anger says. "It's way past bedtime. June should have been asleep ages ago."  
"I know, I know, but, hear me out - what if we have a nightmare like we did last night? What if it's really horrible? What if it's even _worse_?"

This is when a purple bubble – a Worry Orb, I guess I'll call them – first appeared out of thin air, in close vicinity to Fear's head.

"Fear," Joy had said, watching her reflection in the bubble as it floated passed her, "there's nothing to worry about. Dream Productions is sure to treat us to something better this time. We had a great day today! We got to colour, and we played fetch with Ace by the lake, and we saw Riley Anderson from school at the mall, and—"

"Oh!" said Fear, snapping his fingers, "A-and right after we almost fell down the escalator as we were leaving the mall, remember that? Jeeze, what if we _had_? It probably would have eaten us, you know, with those awful teeth at the bottom of the stairs? F-face first! What if – what if Riley was eaten up by the stairs? Do you think she knew about that? What if she didn't know that you're supposed to jump over the bottom – what if she's been chewed up?!"

"Ugh, Fear, enough, that's nasty." Disgust tilted his body away from an orb as it floated past his head, closing his eyes against the picture playing inside of it. "Quit worrying like this. You're going to fill the whole place up again with these… _things_ …and I'll be stuck looking at those atrocious images that come with them."

Two, three, four little Worry Orbs arrived next, gathering in strength and number, with images inside each, re-enacting what Fear describes… they don't look as realistic as actual memories do. These ones look like cartoons. They look fake. Because they are. We all know Riley never got violently chewed up by the bottom of the escalator at the mall – we're pretty sure that's impossible, actually - but that doesn't make the image playing inside of the bubble any less disturbing.

Fear has the ability to create little short-lived memories that appear in June's head that _never actually happened._ And they worry June as much as they worry Fear.

I've been doing a lot of thinking about the orbs, recently. It seems the more Fear panics about "What If", the more of these orbs will come into Headquarters – the greater their numbers and strength. Some are quite fragile - the really farfetched ones, like worrying about Riley being eaten by escalator stairs or the house getting swallowed up by a sink hole…other, more practical things, like worrying about getting in trouble or becoming sick, take days to pop…some even survive the trip through our transfer tube to Long Term Memory. I don't know how long they remain on the shelves or if the Forgetters working down there can take care of them and send them to the Memory Dump. No Worry Orb has ever been recalled, to my knowledge.

They don't last long here anyway – Joy is usually able to take care of them quickly enough by carefully explaining to Fear that he is only working himself up, and that he shouldn't worry so much, and often with that, a lot of them will burst on their own. Sometimes, I'm able to talk a little sense into him too, to keep more from appearing. Anger and Disgust have a way of fueling more of the Worry Orbs, and they have gotten bad in the past, bad enough, almost, to flood Headquarters, shoving us up against the walls (once Disgust ended up pressed against the ceiling). But even the flooding isn't the worst part – after all, eventually, Worry Orbs – the ones that stay with us in the HQ, at least - pop.

The worst part is that sometimes, when there are enough Worry Orbs in Headquarters or when something truly awful occurs, an alarm in June's head will go off...and absolute chaos follows.

We don't have a name for this alarm yet – it's only gone off a few times in June's life so far – and we don't know where it came from. We certainly didn't ask for it to be installed. Anger believes Fear put it there himself, which Fear unrelentingly denies. I happen to believe him, because surely, Fear wouldn't have had the resources to build such a thing so early. Not to mention the fact that he dreads this alarm and does everything he can to prevent it from going off, because of what it does to June.

The Alarm exists up on the ceiling, and for the most part, we forget about it. But when something really bad happens to make a problematic amount of Worry Orbs appear in the room, eventually, the Alarm will finally go off. It plays a loud, plunging _THUD_ , accompanied by a shrill, high-itched ringing sound, and an ultraviolet light switches on, which has the unsettling effect of stealing all of the light in the room. The lights in the Islands of Personality go out too – they become dark and the attractions screech to a halt. Sounds from outside become louder and louder, and our View of June's World dims and blurs and begins to shake and pulsate.

The sound of June's heartbeat fills Headquarters, to the point where we can't hear ourselves think. We can hardly move. June's chest tightens, breathing becomes increasingly difficult, and she freezes in place.

It's terrifying. We can all agree on that. And there's nothing myself, Anger, Disgust, even Joy, can do about it. We huddle in place and hold our breaths, waiting for it to be over.

Fear does everything in his power to make it stop. He talks and shouts incessantly to June until his voice gives out, he pleads with the Alarm to make it stop, he tells himself over and over that things can't get any worse…

The last time it happened, he eventually pounded his fists on the console, and the room became pitch-black. We couldn't see anything but the View and Fear's silhouette as he began to sink to the floor in an unconscious heap.

Suddenly, we realized that June was in Mom's arms. She was stroking her hair, telling her that everything would be alright. The Alarm had turned off. We could hear Mom shushing us and telling us that Ace would be okay. None of us could even remember what the Alarm had gone off about in the first place. It was the next day that Fear reminded us, whispering so as not to accidentally recall the memory, that Ace had been hurt by another dog while we had been out for a walk. There had been blood, and Fear had panicked, wondering if Ace would be okay, if he would die or ever be the same again.

Fear is still apologizing for the last incident with the Alarm, and the incident before that, and even the incident before that. He feels awful about being responsible for setting it off. Sometimes – like tonight - I find Fear seated alone, while the others are rooted at the controls, and just like I do with June, I sit close to him, and I take his hand. We have become good friends over the years…sometimes, I find, a good friend is all he really needs.

"Sadness?" he says to me, and I look up to him. He stares ahead. Maybe he's afraid to look at me. "…What if Anger's right?"  
"About what?"

He gestures with his head and then eyes the ground. "You know, the Alarm. I still feel awful about last month." He winces. "…With Ace." His voice is trying to give out. He swallows, to try and correct it, and I tighten my fingers around his. "... what if I _am_ the cause of it? Do you think it really is here because of me, like Anger says?"  
"Oh, I don't think that's possible. I don't think you could be the cause of something you never built."  
"...Why do you suppose I'm the only one who can set it off?"

We both look up to the Alarm with our eyes and cringe. It's fairly simple-looking equipment, but it does such terrible things to June that it we think of it as more of a torture device.

"...This is the fourth time this has happened, now, and I don't like thinking about what it must be doing to her." His eyes dance at the invisible nothing in front of them. Maybe he is looking into some Worry Orb of his own, one I can't see, watching some awful event involving June take place. "…I…I really don't mean to cause any damage...The world just is such a big place, and we're so little, and a _nything_ can happen. Sure, once in a while something worth rejoicing does come along, and thank goodness Joy is on top of her game, and June can enjoy it while she can…But there's just so many bad things out there, just _waiting_ to happen…"

He takes his hand out of mine and lowers his face to his palms for a moment. I put a gentle hand on his shoulder. For a moment, I begin to wonder if he's crying…but then, he straightens and takes a deep breath. He tries to smile at me, and I try to smile too. It's hard for the both of us, because we aren't like Joy...we just try.

"Thank you, Sadness, for hearing me out. Yet again." He chuckles half-heartedly, rolling his eyes at himself.  
"It's okay. I know this means a lot to you."

He nods and straightens a little more. "You're right, of course. And mark my words, I am going to do everything I can to make sure that Alarm never goes off again. That's a promise."

He smiles with just a hint uncertainty in his great big eyes.


	2. Bashful

June is eight years old now. She has lost her old loose teeth, but now she has a new loose one near the back that seems really stubborn. She's constantly playing with it using her tongue and it's starting to annoy her a little – Anger has been sure to remind us of this at least once a day. I'm convinced it'll probably never fall out and we'll be stuck with most of our baby teeth, probably forever…but Joy is optimistic. Justice repeatedly suggests that he pull it out himself with his bare hands whenever the subject of her tooth comes up. _"You won't even feel it, kiddo,"_ he says. _"Yoink - and it'll be gone."_ Disgust isn't as amused by his suggestion as Joy seems to be. Fear checks in with some of us from time to time to ask, "Think he's kidding? He's kidding, right?"

She's recently started grade two, and while she hasn't changed much on the outside, some changes have occurred just outside of Headquarters. Bashful Island has started acting a little strangely recently: Sometimes, out of the blue, it will shut down completely, like when the teacher asked, once, if anyone in the class had a pet, and June managed to put her hand up. Normally, it was hard for June to participate in class, but after Fear's promise to keep the Alarm from going off, she's been doing better. But, as quick as it is to shut down, it's also become very good at starting up spontaneously again, like when we are asked to share a project, or to answer a question on the board, or to do something in a group. Sometimes, just looking at somebody in the eye is enough to start up Bashful.

I think there might be something wrong with it.

"Well, of _course_ there are going to be technical difficulties with Bashful Island," Anger retorts, when I suggest my theory out loud while June is working on her daily journal entry. "Think of who helped invent the thing." He shoots a glance in Fear's direction, who cowers a little.  
"Let's not be so tough on him," says Joy. She's always a little faster than me, and managed to say it before I could. "Fear's been doing pretty well for the last while. Maybe Bashful Island is acting up a bit because he hasn't been running the console quite as…erm...assertively as he had been before."

It _is_ true – he's kept his promise so far and has worked very hard against himself to resist interacting with the panel more than necessary. The Alarm, thanks to this behavior, hasn't gone off since the time Ace was attacked by that other dog. We've had a few close calls, but Fear struggles every day to keep himself under control, and anyone can see it's been paying off.

Fear straightens a little and wrings his hands. He's starting to smile. "You really think so, Joy?"  
"Sure! If I had any money, that's where I'd probably put it."

Fear looks out of the windows that give us our view of Long Term Memory and the Islands of Personality, rubbing his shoulder. His smile is dwindling. "…Well…as encouraging as that is to hear, I _do_ owe you a confession. I don't want anybody to get the wrong impression, here…"  
"Wrong impression?" Disgust leans his head to one side. "What, so it _is_ your fault?"

Fear winces. So do I. I guess I saw this coming. "Well...since the start of the school year, I've started noticing that almost everybody in our class has a friend, and when Joy pointed out that it'd be nice to have one too, I figured she was right. I mean, Joy's right about most things, after all." I look to Joy, who grins coyly and twists her toes into the floor, and then I return my focus to Fear. "I finally realized what's been stopping us from making any - it's got _everything_ to do with Bashful Island. When Bashful is running it's impossible to imagine making friends. Other kids are so intimidating and expecting of us…just _thinking_ about it is enough to make me feel antsy and uncomfortable and…"

Bashful Island is represented by a minimalist statue of a small girl alone on a pedestal. When it powers up – as it's doing right now - she begins to put her slender, stoney hands over the area of her face where her eyes would be, and she bows her head, letting her hair lower down over her face.

"Um...Fear?"

Fear opens his eyes and straightens. He'd been starting to recoil into himself. "Er - got a little carried away there. Sorry." The Personality Island in question hesitates. "…Anyway, my point is that I've been trying to…mmm… _work_ , let's say, on the problem of Bashful Island, because I'm becoming a little attached to the idea of making a new friend or two. Don't you guys think it'd be good for June?"

The others nod slowly and mutter quiet notes of agreement. Joy thinks it's great that Fear is starting to open up a little. I suppose that it _is_ a good thing, but I'm not so sure if this is the best way to go about it. "Fear…Are you sure it's okay to mess around with a Core Memory like this?"

"Ah, well, I'm not so sure anymore, Sadness, because you're right – Bashful Island _has_ become tricky to predict these days. I'd say it probably has to do with the fact that I've been handling it, somewhat." He scratches his brow. "I'm not sure why it'd start acting so twitchy, to be honest…I wasn't doing anything overly drastic to it - I was merely trying to...change it a little."

"Change it?" No, that's not good. Core Memories are very important, and they shouldn't be tampered with. I start to frown. "I'm not sure if you can change a memory, Fear."  
"Well…I've seen _you_ do it before. Why couldn't I?"

Oh…I guess that had been a stupid thing for me to say. I squirm in place.

I have made some of the memories Anger's made get sad before. June feels awful when she gets upset with people, like Dad or Justice, and this one time, while June was in time-out, I couldn't help but look at what had got us there in the first place…I picked up Anger's memory and held it, watching the look in Justice's eyes when she had called him a bad name…I didn't even notice that the memory was turning blue in my hands until Disgust and Joy caught me with it.

"I'm sorry, Sadness," Fear says, snapping me out of my daze, "I didn't mean that in a _bad_ way. I was honestly just hoping I could figure something out and…you know, get rid of this Core Memory somehow, but I haven't had any luck so far. What I wouldn't give for a talent like yours." He perks up suddenly, and rushes close to us. "Hey, I've got an idea! Joy, why don't _you_ try to change it?"  
"Huh? Me?"

He sets a hand on her shoulder and pushes her toward the Core Memory Dock after activating the switch that raises it from its safety compartment in the floor. I'm _really_ not so sure about this.

"Yes, why didn't I think of this before? Here, Joy, careful now – just reach your hands in there and hold on to it for a moment. See if you can make it – I don't know – _happy_. That'd work. Wouldn't it, gang?"

Fear's Core Memory sticks out in the dock like a sore thumb. It's sharp, violet colour sits in stark contrast of the golden memories created by Joy. Her hands seem dim in comparison to it as she awkwardly lays her palms on its surface. She is studying the memory as it plays inside, receiving the unpleasant reminder of the time June's mom made her come downstairs for the family reunion one year when she was four, and she found herself lost in a sea of adults she didn't know, staring at her, commenting on how much she'd grown and asking how old she was, if she could remember her aunt Joan or her cousin Vanessa…why she wasn't answering, why she wouldn't look up at anybody, why she wasn't letting her hair up from her face…The Core Memory features a huge crowd of unrecognizable faces looming over her. She was so frightened that she ran back up to her room and wouldn't come down, not even for dinner.

She was so upset and embarrassed...I sat up with her all night, until she cried herself asleep.

"Uh, Fear?"  
"Yes Joy?"  
"I don't think this is working."  
Fear's antennae curls up behind his head with disappointment. "Oh…It's not? You're sure?"  
"No. I mean…this was a pretty awful memory. I don't know if there's _any_ way to make it happy. I'm trying to find a way, but this…this just isn't really my place. I think Sadness is the only one who can change memories around here. We figured that out a while ago."

I uncomfortably wring my hands together.

"Hmm...Well...You're probably right, of course…" Fear begins to pace around the dock, slowly. He stops, looking out the window, and downward. "…We… _could_ …send it to the Memory Dump?"

I shuffle forward. "Fear…Bashful Island is a _part_ of June. We can't just throw it away…"  
"But, but it's holding her back. It's certainly not doing June any favours. No…I think maybe that's what we really _ought_ to do. June doesn't need this Island. Does she?"

This is bold behavior for Fear. I can't decide if I am impressed or even more worried than I was before.

"Look," says Anger, "if I had helped craft a Core Memory, I'd be _proud_ of the damned thing. There'd be no talk of throwing it away because of a few glitches. Glitches happen, man. Of course, I'd have made something that was at least _worthy_ of being proud of…"  
"Naturally, Anger." Fear sets his hands on his hips. "Now, if I had done that in the first place, we wouldn't be faced with this problem right now."

I shouldn't be surprised to learn that Fear isn't proud of the Core Memory he created, but I am, somehow. All of a sudden, I am beginning to realize that he must have been resenting himself for this Core Memory for years. Poor Fear…I never really thought about it before.

"…Joy? What do you think?"  
"Well…it _would_ be nice if all of June's memories could be happy…But I think Sadness is right. Maybe tossing pieces of June away is a bad idea. We should try to work with what we have."  
"But how? How can anybody work with Bashful Island in the background?"  
Disgust gestures to the View behind him. "Well, for the most part, June does just fine. Lookit, she's almost done her journal entry. No problemos there."  
"Yeah, well, sure, I guess," says Fear, starting to fold his arms, "until, that is, something happens like having to introduce herself, or having to perform in a play, or getting called on by the—"

 _"June? Did you hear me, dear?"_

That's the teacher. We all startle and turn around – Fear shrieks and slaps his hands over his mouth.

 _"It's time to put your pencil down."_

Joy races Fear to the console and enters a code to help June speedily put her pencil down on her desk. Fear grips the edge of the console and breathes frantically. He looks down to June's journal and studies it carefully. I read it too.

 _I like to play with my dog Ace._

 _Ace is black. He is a border collie._

 _We play on the lawn._

 _He is seven years old._

 _I will show my friends what tricks he can do someday._

"Okay," he says cautiously – but breathlessly. Hastily. "Okay, okay, this is a very _personal_ entry. We don't want to share this. What's today? Tuesday? It's not supposed to be Share-And-Tell, Teacher. Remember that. No surprises like last week. We're supposed to be together on this. We're supposed to be on each other's side."

The teacher stands up and folds her hands in front of her. " _Would anyone like to do any Share-And-Tell from their journals today?"  
_  
Fear grits his teeth. " _Nngh!_ Of _course_ not! Don't you _dare_. Don't you dare call on us. I've got my eye you so hard."

The teacher looks at us.

"Ahh! She's looking at us!" He grabs Disgust and shakes him violently by his scarf. " _She's looking straight at us!"_

Bashful Island begins to creak – the figurine has completely lowered her head and her hair has fallen around her face like a curtain. She is bending at the knees, to sit on the ground with her face completely buried in her arms.

" _Um, excuse me? I'll go_?"

We look across the classroom and Fear let's go of a deep breath. "It's Riley! Riley Andersen to the rescue! Thank you!"

Bashful Island gently begins to lift its head.

Riley makes it look so easy. She talks about her family's plans to start skating on the lake near their house in December, and that she is going to have a sleep-over at her friend Meg's place later this week. She tells the class that her dad got a promotion, and promised to get her a new hockey stick for Christmas if Santa can't find the right one. She shows the class the picture she drew underneath, of her, her mom and her dad skating together.

"…Wow…she's a natural," Joy muses, leaning on the console. "Like she's practiced this speech a million times."  
"She doesn't have a dog like we do, though," I say. "That's too bad."  
"She doesn't need a dog. Riley plays hockey." Anger folds his arms and nods. "You get guts playing contact sports. Riley's tough as nails."  
"You can let go of me any time now, Fear," groans Disgust.

A few other students share their journal entries before the bell rings for recess. June takes her time gathering her things and the colouring book she's been using. She wants to take it out to the playground to work on…there will be nothing else to do.

But then, someone taps June on the shoulder while she is putting her crayons away into the red pouch she keeps them in. Fear, who was numb with relief until a few seconds ago, startles and cringes as June hastily turns to see who has touched her. He lifts his hands from the console, now that he's realized he is still in the driver's seat, so as not to accidentally hit any buttons.

We're all a little surprised to see that it's Riley. I touch a hand to my cheek.

 _"Hi June."_

Bashful Island tightens up and the figurine hides its head in its arms. June locks up tight because of it and can't answer.

"Fear, what are you doing?!" Joy gestures wildly at the View – Riley's smile is becoming strange and awkward now. "Don't just stand there – she's talking to you."  
Fear is uselessly stiff, clenching his teeth, curling his fingers up beneath his jaw. "I-I don't know, what am I suppose to say?"

Quickly, Joy dials a code onto the console, reaching around Fear's torso.

 _"Um—hullo."_

Riley's smile returns to normal. _"I could tell from last week that you don't really like to share your journal. That's why I said I would read mine, 'cause it looked like the teacher was about to call on you."_ She tucks her hair behind her ear. _"Was that okay?"_

Fear's shoulders sag somewhat. "…..Well…well, that was nice of her…wasn't it, guys?"

He smiles a little. I haven't seen him smile like that in a long time.

Joy's hand is hovering over a key, but she glances at Fear instead of pushing it and grins. "…You see? We don't have to throw Bashful Island away…We just have to teach you to, you know…work _around_ it a little. Go ahead, give it a shot. Maybe all you need is a little practice."

Fear looks down to the console and raises a shaky hand. His index finger lowers onto the button Joy has familiarized herself with, by now. Normally, it radiates a warm, golden glow beneath the panel, but under Fear's command it shines violet, and June's response is a little different from what Joy may have produced:

 _"Oh—y-yeah, I guess. Um, thanks, Riley."_

Fear looks down and panics a little. "Oops – uh – little rusty, here." He types in a few more commands.

 _"A-and, um…I liked your Share-And-Tell."  
"Thanks. Maybe you can watch us play a game some time. The big play-offs are coming up, and this time, I know we're going to win."  
"Oh…Um…That could be fun? I've never watched a hockey game before."  
"Never? Wow. We'd be your first game ever, then? I guess we'd _have _to win! I'd hate for you to watch us lose."_ She laughs. _"I'm going to go outside now. If you want, you can join my friend Meg and I later? If you wanna?"_

Fear looks over his shoulder, out the windows to Bashful Island. Then he looks back to Riley. He closes his eyes.

"…Joy, I can't. I just can't. What if – what if we do something to embarrass ourselves?"  
"Come on, you can do this, Fear. We want to make some friends – remember?"  
"Yes, but…but what if they don't like us? What if they find out we like to dance, and they laugh, or they try to make us play hockey and we make June look like an idiot, or…"

I look up and I frown. "Fear, wait a moment. You have to stop before…"

Too late…

There are three, four, five Worry Orbs floating around the room right now…Meg and Riley are inside of them, and they are laughing, or in some, walking away from us.

Joy reaches down to the console impulsively in the hopes she can save the moment, but Fear's hands arrive at the console faster.

 _"Maybe not, Riley…I'm, um…I'm going to work on my math homework."_

It's almost as though Fear can't let go of the console, now that he's finally driving it again. He wants to stop, I can tell, but he can't bring himself to.

"Oh, Fear, _no_ ," cries Joy. "We were doing so well!"  
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm just worried something will go wrong. There are at least twelve things that could go wrong, and each scenario seems even worse than the last one, and..."

Riley's shoulders are sagging, but she smiles. _"Oh...That's okay. Maybe we can play some other time."_

There are eight, ten, twelve Orbs now.

"That's it!" Anger shouts suddenly, seizing Fear's arm. "You are ruining our chances of making one friend in the entire school! It was YOUR idea to make friends in the first place! Do you want June to be happy or not, you big coward?"

Fear bites his lip and attempts reach for one last button on the console. Joy intercepts him and manages to type it in for him. Disgust is pulling on Fear's other arm, now, to keep him from touching it at all.

" _Okay_ ," says June, sounding hopeful, almost desperate, now that Riley is beginning to leave. It feels awful to watch her walk out of the class…I almost wish I could drive instead of Joy. Joy's fingers hover over the keys and her eyes lock onto the View, and she waits. I don't know what for. Maybe she's hoping Riley will turn around and offer her a second chance.

But it doesn't come today.

Anger shoves Fear a few feet away from him and Disgust, and the two of them fold their arms. "Great work, genius," groans Disgust, rolling his eyes. "You completely _nailed_ that whole friendship thing."

Joy turns from the console and eyes the others as they take threatening steps toward Fear, who begins to back into a corner. "Boys…stop."

They ignore Joy and advance upon Fear. "What the hell is wrong with you?" shouts Anger. "She was reaching out to us and you turned her away. She's not likely to ever do it again. Why'd you have to do it?"

"Would you guys quit it? That isn't going to help."

Fear's eyes widen, and I realize that they are brimming with tears.

Unable to stand it anymore, I suddenly find myself standing between the three of them. "Please…that's enough."

I try to sound firm, but I think I sound broken. I am trying to look indomitable, but instead I am grimacing, trying to hold back tears of my own. Anger clenches his fists and the air around him begins to sparkle and swell as he heats up...I don't let it intimidate me. I turn and I take Fear by the hand. I make the decision to take him to the break room. Joy decides to come with me, laying a hand across Fear's back, over my own hand.

"What're you taking _his_ side for, Sadness? Didn't you watch what happened at all?"

I choose not to look at Anger as I guide Fear into the break room and close the door behind us.

"We all make mistakes, Anger."

* * *

 **Disclaimer: I do not own any characters or landmarks from Disney Pixar's _Inside Out._ Cover Image belongs to Creative-Dreamr on deviantART . com.**  
 **Thank you so much for reading. I appreciate all of the kind words and criticism! I hope this story resonates with anyone who can relate to June's experience and state of mind. Please enjoy! ~KQSimply  
**  
 *****UPDATE July 21st 2015: Had to change the title. It's been driving me nuts since Chapter 2. :C I'M SORRY. I REALLY SUCK AT TITLES. ( _Fic formerly titled Wound Tight._ )*** ~KQSimply**


	3. Big Brother

I wound up driving the console for the rest of the day today. Through recess, June remained upset by her response to Riley. She was angry and frustrated with herself. But over time, as Anger and Disgust began to argue and insist on who would apologize to Fear first, I felt overwhelmed by a need to approach the console, until eventually, I took complete control. She had looked up just minutes before the bell rang and watched as Riley and Meg high-fived each other before heading to their respective classes.

That was when she started to cry. I began to wonder, at that point, if we'd ever even get to know what a high-five felt like from someone with hands the same size as ours.

We sat together on the bus, just her and I…no one sat next to us. It made it easy to dry our tears without anybody asking us what was wrong.

I looked around myself as June was walking home and realized that the Worry Orbs were still present, though their numbers had plummeted. Joy was still in the break room with Fear, putting all of those notions well out of June's head, one by one…I tried so hard to let June be happy that her worries had been dismissed, but it backfired in my hands just as we walked through the door. Realizing that we really should have taken a chance and played with Riley, given that our worries were largely based on What Ifs alone, only made us feel even worse.

Now, we're home, and we go to sit down on the floor in the middle of the living room. We let our book bag fall next to us, make sure we are alone, and have a good cry.

I don't know how much time has passed, lost in my own thoughts and in counting June's tears as I am, by the time a hand is reaching under June's chin, to lift it up.

 _"Hey, kiddo…what's the matter? I didn't even hear you come in."_

It's Justice.

 _"Come on, Junebug. You can tell me. Mom and Dad are still grocery shopping."_

June can tell Justice just about anything. He has never told a secret on us. She and I told him about lots of mistakes we had made in the past, and never has he told on us, even though we tell on him sometimes. The day we realized how good Justice really is…that was when the Big Brother expansion on Family Island came to exist.

June wipes her nose on her arm and looks up to him.

 _"I want to have someone to play with at school,"_ she says quietly. Her voice is still broken and choking on tears. _"I almost played with somebody today, but I got too scared, and I didn't."  
_ " _Yeah_?" Justice sits down on the floor next to us. " _What were you scared of? Were they mean to you?"  
"No."  
"Was it a boy or something?"  
"No."  
"Did they have fangs?"  
"No."_

Joy would have laughed at these suggestions. But I just can't pretend to be Joy right now. I know Justice understands.

He puts a hand on June's shoulder. _"…Let me guess, for real now. You were worried that they wouldn't like you? Or that you would make a mistake around them…embarrass yourself…have them walk away from you?"_

June tenses under his arm. Her eyes begin to fill with tears again, making the view blurry and hard to see out of.

 _"…You know, I was a lot like you, when I was younger."  
"You were?"  
"Oh yeah. I was always so nervous that kids at school would pick on me. They had a name for that, back then…but, I dunno. I think you're too young to have Social Anxiety. Then again, I'm not a doctor. I don't know if kids as young as eight years old can have conditions like that."  
_June looks up at him. " _What's Social angst-city?"  
_  
Justice chuckles…I try to understand why. _"…Maybe I'll explain it to you later…but the long-and-short of it is, it makes you worry too much. You've got better things to do than to get upset because of what others may or may not think about you. I wasted all of my years in middle school avoiding people because I didn't think I could make friends with kids in a new city. You were too little to remember when we first moved to Minnesota…for me, it was a nightmare. I never thought I'd be the same again. But guess what?"  
"What?"  
"By the time I was almost in high school, I talked to someone about it, and they taught me that you have to let yourself enjoy your life, sometimes, and accept that you can't control everything. It's a hard thing to accept, but when you do, you'll be unstoppable. You'll end up with a million friends." _

To my surprise, I find that Joy is here. I wonder how long she's been standing next to me? I had been so absorbed in what Justice was saying that I hadn't noticed her approach. Fear is here as well, standing at Joy's back. His eyes are red and swollen, and he incessantly wrings his hands together, but he seems relieved, now. Joy is able to breathe new life in him that I am incapable of. She is so good at looking out for all of us.

Joy is smiling into Justice's dark, caring eyes and she reaches to tap a single key on the console, and June smiles, and sniffles.

Justice starts to stand up. " _And you know what I'd do with a million friends?"  
"What?"  
"I'd have 'em all give me a dollar."_

Joy holds the button down, and June giggles, and watches as Justice heads to the couch.

 _"Now...Are you gonna rat on me for heading back to my nap? I've got another killer headache tonight."_

"A headache…?" I hear Fear mutter. He moves close to the console to take a better look, and I watch as he folds his fingers into one jumbled fist, clenching his hands until they shake. He is trying very hard to resist handling the console.

 _"…Are you okay?"_ asks June, on my command. Fear suddenly taps a key on the console so that June quickly adds: _"…Should I call Mom and Dad and tell them to come home early?"_

Joy looks at him and sighs.

Meanwhile, Justice frowns at June for a moment. He studies her carefully. Maybe replays what she said in his head a few times. _"…Listen, Junebug. It's my job to worry about you. Not the other way around. Try not to worry so much. You're too young to be so wound up. The next time something makes you feel stressed out over what could be, or what might be, or what if…I want you to pause and remember that you can't control everything, and that's not always bad. Sometimes, not being in control is the best thing that can happen to you. Let's try it together. Take a deep breath."_

Together, he and June inhale…and together, they exhale. And with that…the last of the Worry Orbs that are still hovering in the room silently burst.

Fear stares, wide-eyed and flabbergasted, at the View, letting his hands drop to his sides. "…Wow…"

He gestures at the screen with his index finger and nods approvingly. "He's good."

* * *

 **Disclaimer: I do not own any characters or landmarks from Disney Pixar's _Inside Out._ Cover Image belongs to Creative-Dreamr on deviantART . com.**  
 **Thank you so much for reading. I appreciate all of the kind words and criticism! I hope this story resonates with anyone who can relate to June's experience and state of mind. Please enjoy! ~KQSimply  
**  
 *****UPDATE July 21st 2015: Had to change the title. It's been driving me nuts since Chapter 2. :C I'M SORRY. I REALLY SUCK AT TITLES. ( _Fic formerly titled Wound Tight._ )*** ~KQSimply**


	4. Worry Orbs

It's usually Disgust who wakes us up in the morning, being the first to hear June's iPod dock when it goes off at 6:30, or the first to sense sunlight coming in through the curtains during the Summer. This morning, however, it was Anger. We exit our bedrooms and make our way down the tiny flight of stairs to join him in front of the console. I'm still sleepy, and as for walking…I don't want to be walking right now.

"What's going on?" Joy yawns as she stretches. "We heard you shouting about something."

He's grinning, and I have to admit, it's just a little bit scary. "See for yourself!" He points ahead, and June sits up in bed, spits into her hand and out tumbles a tooth. "Hot-cha-cha, boys and girls, the little bugger _finally_ fell out!"

"See, Sadness?" Joy nudges me with her elbow. "I told you we wouldn't be stuck with all of our baby teeth forever."

I guess she was right. Like Fear says, she's usually right about most things.

Joy helps steer June excitedly down the hall, in order to show Justice. "And let's make sure to point out that his joke about pulling it out himself was getting _really_ old anyway," says Disgust, rolling his eyes.

Fear sighs and sets his hands on his hips. "Absolutely. I, uh, I knew he was joking all along."

It's somewhat of a surprise to see that Justice's door is still closed. He's usually awake at 6:00, well before June, and we can find him browsing the internet or finishing up last-minute homework assignments with his breakfast on his desk.

June is just about to knock on the door when a hand touches her shoulder.

 _"_ _Morning, muffin."_

It's Dad.

" _Let's let your brother get his rest, okay? I'll make you some breakfast_."  
June looks over her shoulder at the door. _"…Is Justice staying home from school again?"  
"_ _Yeah. He is. Come on. How do you want your eggs?"_

Anger groans and moves to take subtle control of the panel, under Joy's hands. "Don't change the subject, Dad, we asked you a question…" June began to frown unpleasantly.

 _"…_ _How come Justice gets to stay home from school so much? Can't I stay home too?"  
"_ _When you start getting migraines like his, bud, you can stay home as often as you need to."_

June sighs and looks down to the tooth in her hand. She'd wanted to shove it in Justice's face first since he'd been teasing her about it so much. It's a little disappointing that we can't…I move to take Anger's place as he shrugs and backs away from the console, but Joy gently cuts me off, to program June into showing her tooth off to Dad instead.

Justice started to get frequent headaches just shortly before November, and they've been getting worse. Mom says his migraines are hereditary, which means they run in the family. She says eventually, June will start getting them too. It's yet another thing for Fear to worry about.

Today, Fear seems to be concerned with something different. His eyes seem to be staring straight through the View, as Joy, Anger and Disgust drive June through breakfast and the snowy bus ride to school, and he seems uneasy. He takes a broad step back from us, folding his hands behind him…this is a silent signal that means he is trying to resist approaching the console in the first place.

He's been doing a little better since the day we talked to Justice about worrying too much – and for a while, especially for the first few days after Disgust and Anger apologized for lashing out at him, things on his end had improved, but it seems, lately, he's gone back to his usual, erratic patterns of good days and bad days. You can never tell what kind of a day it will be…Today could be better than the last, but in the end, there's no way of knowing, really. Just like he always says, anything can happen.

We have learned that Justice's advice of taking a moment to breathe and calm down does help a lot, even when there isn't a Worry Orb in sight. It's hard to remember to do it in every situation, and sometimes, when I make meek suggestions to try it, the other Emotions are so focused on what's happening before them that they refuse to listen…but when June eventually does pause and take a deep breath, we see lots of improvements. I'm actually a little relieved we've found a temporary solution for worrying, because feeling so stressed this frequently means I have to work _overtime_ to accommodate June's feelings. I will be wherever June needs me without hesitation, but not only is it sometimes difficult for me to make her feel sad all of the time…it is also exhausting.

I wonder if this is how Fear must feel?

It's almost noon hour, and June is trying to follow along with the class novel, but for some reason she's having a little trouble paying attention. Her eyes pass over the same lines over and over again, and while normally, with thanks to Story Island, she is able to imagine very vivid pictures to go along with the words, all we are able to see through the View today is the page, and the text. When a picture shows up on a page, she hardly bothers to look it.

"What gives?" Disgust moans, putting his arms out in a huff. "I thought we were enjoying this book."  
Anger puts his hands on his hips. "No kidding...And here I thought focusing in class would be easier with that stupid loose tooth gone, too."

Even Joy agrees that something feels off, and the three of them try to decide what has ruined the book for everyone. Meanwhile, I turn to the view of the Islands of Personality for an answer – specifically, to Story Island, which is normally running by now. It features statues of open books amongst towering bookshelves, and when it is functioning properly, the pages of the open books spring back and forth. I see it isn't running as well as it's supposed to, but instead it's chugging and struggling with itself, which is definitely part of the problem...but that's not quite what truly catches my eye.

Fear is leaning against the window, his arms folded up tight against his chest. He doesn't seem to be looking out at anything in particular…he could be staring at his reflection, but as I look closer, that doesn't seem likely either. He seems lost in thought, which is a new thing for him. Normally, when he worries about something, he worries out loud. And I happen to know that he is worrying about something, because he is surrounded by very small, very faint Worry Orbs.

I've never seen them look quite like this. Except for being transparent and not looking as realistic as a normal memory, Worry Orbs look almost identical to actual Memories. They glow and shimmer, and they are just a little smaller than my head, but these ones are perhaps no bigger than my fists, which, as I look down to them, really aren't so large at all. But there are quite a few of them. I think they are distracting June.

Quietly, I move away from Joy and the others and approach Fear at the window, waiting patiently for him to notice my reflection standing next to his. He blinks hastily and turns to me, as though shaking himself from some deeply intriguing thought. He spots the few dozen little Worry Orbs surrounding him and puts his hands behind his back.

"Sadness – did, uh…did you need something?"  
I tuck my hand softly over my elbow. "Well, no, not exactly. I was just wondering if you were okay."  
He nods. "Sure. I'm okay."  
"…You're really sure?"  
"Sure. I'm _sure_ I'm sure."  
I point limply to a Worry Orb floating closest to my hand. "Then, what are these?

Fear fans at them lightly, as though hoping this will make them less noticeable to me. He's definitely not fooling anybody. "What? These? These are nothing. Don't pay any attention to them. That's why I brought them way back here."

I turn at the waist to the View, and listen as Disgust points out to Anger and Joy that June has fallen a page behind the rest of the class. She skips the page she was on to catch up, ignoring an entire piece of the chapter. That can't be good. "Well, if you say so…But it's kind of hard to pay attention to anything else, right now."

Fear looks to the View as well, brow furrowing, and takes a single step forward, beginning to frown. "Huh? But…why?" He looks to his left again, at a tiny Worry Orb floating next to his shoulder, and begins to chew his nails. "I figured this would be the best way to – that is, I thought – I supposed this would…"

I take notice of a Worry Orb, now that they're closer to me, and study its contents carefully. I have to squint to see into it properly, because it is so faint and thin, and like the bigger Worry Orbs, these ones contain "memories" that look more like cartoons, so it's hard to see what is inside of it. With careful concentration, I am able to make out an image of what looks like a closed door. That's odd. Memory Orbs are usually kind of disturbing in some nature or another, but not this one. I frown and look for another one. I can see a bed…someone is in it, fast asleep, but I can't really tell who, until I focus on another one. This one looks like Justice, to tell from the character's black, messy hair and his lopsided smile…At first, nothing is happening to him, which is definitely strange for a representation inside of a Worry Orb - and then, just as I was about to look away from it, I notice that the Justice character is beginning to grimace, and reach a hand toward the side of his head, as though nursing a wound…

I hear Justice's voice very close to me, suddenly:

 _"…_ _They're getting a lot worse…I think I need to stay home today…"_

I've never heard a Worry Orb repeat messages from actual memories before. It's faint, like a whisper, but so close to my ear it gives me tiny chills.

Another one floats near me. I can see Mom and Dad's faces, strange and abstract due to the nature of the Orb, and they really look upset, which I've never seen before…They are talking, but I have to follow the Orb closely as it floats lazily toward the window, in order to hear it properly. Mom is beginning to cry…I frown deeply and put all of my energy into understanding what this one is trying to say:

 _"…_ _I'm sorry, honey…because of these headaches, your brother has passed away…"_

I gasp and freeze in place, hands over my mouth.

…Even though it's not true, even though it's never actually happened...I feel horrible…I feel like crying...

"Oh—Sadness, please…stay away from those, will you? Come on, it – it looks like they need you up front." Fear sets his hands on my shoulders and tries to steer me toward the console. "Let's go. You don't need to worry about this. That's, uh, that's _my_ job. Remember?"  
I turn to face him, trying to plant my feet on the hopelessly smooth floor in my slippers. "But Justice says it's not our job to worry about him - it's supposed to be the other way around."

He suddenly lets go of me and backs away. "I know," he squeaks, his eyes darting back and forth at the Worry Orbs as they float by. "I know. I _know_. I'm trying as hard as I can, honestly. I am. That's why I'm staying back here, as far away from the console as possible. To keep these away from…that." He points up to the Alarm. It's been dormant for so long…I nearly forgot about it.

I see his tactic…I can see how he would think it would work…but I'm not sure if pushing himself and these Worry Orbs away from the console is really going to solve anything. "…Fear?" He slowly looks back at me, eyes wide and concerned. Maybe he expects me to be angry at him for this. How could I be? "…I think, maybe, we should really talk to someone about this. This is serious."

"Talk? About _this_? No, we can't. We absolutely can't."  
"Why not?"  
"It's – it's hard to explain. But I don't have to explain it anyway, do I? They'll probably burst before it matters anyway. These ones in particular are quite fragile, you know - Joy can take care of them during lunch hour…no problem. I just thought to keep them back here, because you're right – Justice said not to worry about him. I'm working on that."

I look down…there is a tiny Worry Orb floating lower than the others, close to my belly. I realize that they seem to be following Fear.

I reach to touch it, watching as it turns a cold, melancholy shade of blue as my finger approaches, before it silently bursts and creates a tiny, glittering shower of violet and blue. Its existence fades away before a single sparkle reaches the floor. Nearly an instant afterward, a new one arrives at Fear's back. He flinches.

"I'm sorry, Sadness. I'm sorry I keep screwing things up... But I'll keep trying." He twists his hands together in front of his chest. "I just want June to be happy. And if staying back away from the console and keeping these worries to myself is what it takes…"

I can sense Fear's honesty. His desperation to do something good for June. But all I can really focus on, when I look up to him, are the small, nearly invisible Worry Orbs that have completely surrounded him. He insists, largely with his eyes and a nod, that I join the others. He wants to tend to these troubled, unsettling worries completely alone.

Fear is in deeper trouble than he realizes. But maybe, now that I've looked over my shoulder to him watching as he turns away again, fingers shaking gently against his jaw, he is perfectly aware, and hoping he can fix it before it gets even worse.

How long can he _possibly_ keep this up for…?

* * *

 **Disclaimer: I do not own any characters or landmarks from Disney Pixar's _Inside Out._ Cover Image belongs to Creative-Dreamr on deviantART . com.**  
 **Thank you so much for reading. I appreciate all of the kind words and criticism! I hope this story resonates with anyone who can relate to June's experience and state of mind. Please enjoy! ~KQSimply  
**  
 *****UPDATE July 21st 2015: Had to change the title. It's been driving me nuts since Chapter 2. :C I'M SORRY. I REALLY SUCK AT TITLES. ( _Fic formerly titled Wound Tight._ )*** ~KQSimply**


	5. I'm Okay

It's almost Christmas. June would be very excited about it under normal circumstances, but last week, we had a major setback.

There was a test on the book we've been reading in the class, and June got a C+ on it. That means we passed, but just barely, which is nothing like what June is used to when it comes to tests about books or spelling. When we bring B's and C's home on a math test, Mom and Dad get excited, because June struggles with math, but they're used to A's on anything from Reading or Writing classes. When they saw the C+ on our test, they became strange and quiet, and I knew at once to get in front of the console and drive.

They weren't mad...actually, surprising those of us who were braced for them to scold June, they soothingly asked if she was doing okay. I turned to Fear, who began to make slashing motions across his throat and gestured with a finger across his lips, insisting I stay quiet about the secret we'd been able to keep for so long - the fact that June was so worried about Justice it was distracting her from school. I knew that we had to open up to Mom and Dad…I knew it was hurting June so badly to keep quiet...

Well aware of my intentions, I hardly had time to slowly turn back toward the panel before Fear suddenly moved me aside and took control of the console.

 _"_ _I-I'm okay Mom."_

Everyone gasped and cast their dark gazes at Fear. It was a lie, and we all knew it.

 _"_ _I'm sorry. I-I'll study better next time."  
"…_ _Are you sure, honey?"  
"_ _Yeah."  
"_ _Because if there's anything wrong…anything at all-"  
"_ _No, nothing's wrong…I'm okay."_

A purple memory knocked up against several of the blue ones I had made earlier that day.

Mom kissed her on the head and told June to work on her homework right away. And she did.

Fear was attempting to compose himself. He lifted his hands from the keys cautiously, and began to straighten, satisfied, for some reason, that the truth had been avoided. And then, our collective gazes dawned on him, and he balked. Joy was slack-jawed and dumbfounded by his behavior, and Anger and Disgust had clearly forgotten their heartfelt apologies from earlier in the school year at that time, to tell from the condemning looking their eyes.

I was hurt. He hadn't pushed anyone out of the way to take control in so many years…I had forgotten how bad it felt.

"Fear…how _could_ you?" Joy…I'd never seen her look the way she did that day. Her outrage was justified…June never lied to her mother, let alone to herself, quite in this way.

Fear began to look incredibly guilt-ridden and mortified. It was as though he were only just realizing what he had just done. Eventually, he sighed…he took a deep breath, and he made his confession.

The rest of the Emotions came to learn about the faint, tiny Worry Orbs featuring Justice, about how Fear had been trying to push them all aside, manage them alone…there had been some forgiveness amongst the other Emotions who could appreciate that he was trying not to worry, just as Justice had asked of him, trying to fix things, to make them better. But no one saw that lie coming.

I certainly didn't. I'm not even sure if _Fear_ did.

And so, since that day, things have been quiet in Headquarters. Meanwhile, outside, Christmas is all around us. Santa has arrived on the street corner, raising money for charity, the trees in the square are decorated, and, now that Justice's birthday has come and gone, Mom and Dad can finally start putting up decorations too. Inside…things are just quiet.

Joy is half-heartedly putting up decorations around Headquarters. Last year, and all of the years before that I can remember, she loved making Headquarters as Christmassy as possible so that it was June could think about in her spare time. June usually loves Christmas. She loved the snow and sitting around the fireplace, drinking hot chocolate…I liked some of the Christmas movies we would watch, especially the ones with a nice message at the end that made June tear up…Disgust enjoyed picking out scarves and mittens for the cold weather and making fun of the ugly Christmas sweaters he won't let Mom buy for June…Even Anger enjoyed Christmas to some extent, though he wasn't fond of having Christmas music stuck playing in Headquarters on a seven-hour loop. And Fear – Fear was usually so distracted by all of the excitement that he could finally start to relax. It was the one time of year where he could.

This year, because of Justice's illness and for lying not only to Mom but to ourselves, everything feels just a little bit wrong. June isn't in the mood for any of the things that made her happy, once.

The other Emotions try everything they can to distract June. Joy tries to give her ideas for things to write about or new songs to make up dances to, but her ideas don't work. Anger suggests throwing Scientist Barbie against the pillow a few times, but it doesn't change anything either. Disgust tries looking through some of our old picture books, but nothing looks the same – everything looks bland and bleak, and he gives up.

"Guys," sighs Disgust, "I think our console's pooched."

However, I know it can't be 'pooched', because I can still make it work. And every now and then, when the others are on break and when Fear isn't looking, I sit with June in her bedroom, and together we cry, and we wish that we had the bravery to talk to _somebody_.

* * *

 **Disclaimer: I do not own any characters or landmarks from Disney Pixar's _Inside Out._ Cover Image belongs to Creative-Dreamr on deviantART . com.**  
 **Thank you so much for reading. I appreciate all of the kind words and criticism! I hope this story resonates with anyone who can relate to June's experience and state of mind. Please enjoy! ~KQSimply  
**  
 *****UPDATE July 21st 2015: Had to change the title. It's been driving me nuts since Chapter 2. :C I'M SORRY. I REALLY SUCK AT TITLES. ( _Fic formerly titled Wound Tight._ )*** ~KQSimply**


	6. Reaching Out

At school, we all manage to forget our troubles a little, especially as Christmas gets closer and closer. Only 9 days to go, now, and tomorrow is the last day of school before Christmas break starts. June feels a little excited about that, and Joy is thrilled to take purchase of anything that might help make June happy again.

With Fear still tucked away in the background, Joy happens to be the one working at the console during art class when someone says " _Hello_ " to June, and she turns to see who it is.

It's Riley.

Joy quickly turns at once to Fear, who has whipped around from the window to figure out what's happening at the View. I immediately understand that Joy isn't looking for direction – she is looking for an opening. An opportunity to reach back for Riley at long last. I can sense it. Meanwhile, fully distracted now, all of the faint Worry Orbs pertaining to Justice burst simultaneously around Fear, and he begins to rush toward the Console.

"Now, just, j-just hold on up there, Joy..."

Joy frowns determinedly and redirects her attention to the console.

"Not today, Fear." She spreads her arms wide over the console and defends it. "We need to fix this for June. And we're going to fix it right now."

He gasps and arrives immediately at her back, laying his hands on Joy's shoulders, watching intently, teeth clenched. Bashful Island immediately begins to power up, but Joy furiously manages the console to counter its behaviour.

 _"Oh…Hi Riley."  
"Do you mind if I borrow this?"_ Riley lifts up an orange pastel crayon. _"I'll bring it right back."  
"Um-Sure. Go ahead."  
"Thanks." _

Joy blinks in disbelief. "That's it? That's _it?!_ Oh no, nonono, that _can't_ be it…" She swiftly thrusts a lever on the console, and June stretches her arm forward.

 _"Riley?"_

Riley turns. I'm surprised to see the hopeful look in her eye. _"Uh huh?"_

Fear is nibbling his fingers, turning away from the View. He focuses on Joy, and his pupils narrow. "Easy, Joy….n-nice and easy…"

 _"…How…did your big hockey game go?"  
_ Riley pauses, and then slowly begins to grin. " _The play-offs, you mean? They haven't happened yet. It's this Saturday."_ She starts to smile. " _Did you still want to come?"_

Fear bites his lip until it trembles, his eyes locked on the View again. He doesn't seem to notice that his hand is slowly lowering over Joy's shoulder to a button on the console, jerking furiously over one of the keys.

June hesitantly nods. And then, she smiles. " _Yes."_

I smile too. I can't help it.

Joy squeals and cheers and leaps into the air. "Yes! _YES_! We did it! Woo hoo!"  
"Atta girl, Joy!" Anger exclaims over his own applause.  
Disgust throws his arms around her. "Yeah, you GO girl!"

Fear dives down to the console and strikes several keys deftly with his practiced fingers. My heart skips a beat – I recall what had happened last time he interacted with Riley – but I'm surprised to hear as June simply adds, _"I just have to ask my mom…is that okay?"_

 _"Yeah! I'm sure she'll say yes."_ Riley looks really happy. No one's really looked at June like this before. We all feel warm…Joy is practically bursting. _"I can't wait to see you there."_

Fear, standing straight again, breaks into a sudden, timid smile and chuckles breathlessly, giddy with relief, pleased that the situation has been successfully concluded, and that it hasn't gone awry…

…He's laughing...he's tearing up with delight… I watch him in awe. "That was excellent…did you see that...? Did you see the way she...looked at us?…" He takes a steady, contented step backward and nods. "...Nice work…Take it away, Joy, she's all yours…"

I've never seen this in him before. The others don't really seem to notice…But I can't take my eyes away. His breathing is slow and steady, and he's smiling…I feel like I don't know this Emotion anymore. It's like this experience has transformed him. The resentment I'd been pushing away to keep our friendship safe subsides immediately, and I feel an enormous weight lift from my shoulders. _This_ is the moment he's been struggling for, all of this time. This is what his mistakes have been for. A big smile for June, especially after all of this time…To hear her sharing laughter with another girl her age...it's all he's ever really-

 _"June Mackenzie?"_

June turns to a new voice – a woman dressed in professional clothing is standing in the doorway of the classroom. Everyone in the class stops talking to looks up to her, and then all eyes are on June. Bashful Island curls up completely in record time.

"…Who's that?" asks Anger.  
"I think that's the principal," Disgust replies.

 _"Could you come with me to my office, please?"_

Fear stumbles back up to the console. All too soon, his overjoyed disposition has left him. Everyone hesitates. Joy is desperate to remain at the center of the console, but eventually, she relents…she lets Fear step forward and nervously pilot June into following the principal down the hallway.

No one speaks. No one dares to take a breath.

Waiting for us in the principal's office, surprising all of us, is Dad. His lips are pressed together, forming a tight line, and when he looks at us, we can hardly recognize him. He seems so...wrong.

Fear begins to panic. "What's going on, why is Dad here? Is it because of the test? Are we failing school? Are we in trouble?"

Dad kneels down to June and hands her winter jacket to her. _"…Hey, sweetheart."_

Fear's eyes are locked on the View. His body begins to shudder. His eyes widen, and I can hear his breath as it quickens in his chest.

 _"You and I are going to head out for the day."_

Fear begins to steadily rock his head. He clenches the edges of the console with sweaty, trembling hands. The ground at our feet begins to shake with the slow arrival of the driving pound of June's quickened heart rate. Fear's attention, as though deafened by the circumstance, remains locked on the View. "...No...No… _please_ … _no_ …"

 _"…Daddy?..."_

Dad closes his eyes, bows his head…and then, his eyes open, brings them up slowly from the floor.

 _"It's your brother, Junebug. We had to take him to the hospital."_

 ** _THUD_**.

The Alarm activates, and Headquarters is plunged into its all-consuming darkness.

* * *

 **Disclaimer: I do not own any characters or landmarks from Disney Pixar's _Inside Out._ Cover Image belongs to Creative-Dreamr on deviantART . com.**  
 **Thank you so much for reading. I appreciate all of the kind words and criticism! I hope this story resonates with anyone who can relate to June's experience and state of mind. Please enjoy! ~KQSimply  
**  
 *****UPDATE July 21st 2015: Had to change the title. It's been driving me nuts since Chapter 2. :C I'M SORRY. I REALLY SUCK AT TITLES. ( _Fic formerly titled Wound Tight._ )*** ~KQSimply**


	7. The Alarm

The console shuts down and becomes completely unresponsive. We are plagued by the sickening sounds of June's deafening heartbeat, her breath as it shortens and shudders from her lungs in spurts, the whine of the high-pitched ringing in her ears. The floor and the shelves containing her precious memories begin to quake. I watch, horrified, as June's Islands of Personality shut down, one by one.

Someone warm seizes my hand and I know that it's Joy. Her blue aura shines brightly in the new, eerie darkness that has swallowed Headquarters and she quickly becomes our one and only beacon. Disgust and Anger appear at my sides, suddenly, and Joy puts her arms around us. I look up to her, hoping to find her typical wisdom and positivity, but when the Alarm is going off, Joy is as helpless as any of us. Her eyes are pits of emptiness staring into mine. She brings them away from me to take Disgust's hand.

"No, no, _NO!_ "

Fear is gazing, horrified, up to the ceiling above, where the Alarm has been sitting so quietly for years until now. There is no sense looking to the View anymore or trying to listen through the din for Dad's voice – it's too loud, and June's vision has clouded over with dark spots and static. She can't see, she can't hear, she can't feel. She is possessed by the Alarm Fear has worked so hard to keep inactive.

"No, enough, please, enough, _enough_!" Fear fights with the console with all of his might, yanking levers and striking the keys, but nothing will budge. "I'll do anything. _Anything_. Just leave her alone. Let her breathe. Don't do this to her."

"Fear," Joy calls, "there's nothing you can do. Please, come over here. Stay with us. We need to keep together."

Fear reaches his hand in the air, fingers outstretched as though trying taking June's distant hand. He is shaking his head. "She needs to forget _me_."

Joy's voice breaks. I look to her, stunned, agape. Her eyes are red, clouding over with desperation and heartache. I never could have imagined she'd possess such eyes. "Stop! You can't talk like that, especially not now. Please, come here. We need you."

"Nobody needs me, Joy, not you, not June, _nobody_." He draws his hand back to his chest and shakily spreads his fingers apart, opening his empty palm, beholding it. " _I'm destroying her_."

There is a sudden burst of vivid, ultraviolet light from the right of the console, turning all of Headquarters a gruesome shade of purple. Fear looks in its direction and his eyes fill with dread. "Oh, no."

Disgust gulps and straightens. "Uh, Joy? Might want to take a look at this."  
She turns her head and her aura seems to flicker. "It can't be…"  
Anger watches with his eyes as the light's source moves eerily through Headquarters. "Holy smokes…"

I stand up and gesture with disbelief. "It's a…it's a Core Memory."

" _NO!_ "

Fear abandons the console and rushes to capture it in his hands before its journey can carry it anywhere near its rightful place in the dock. It's a Core Memory, he's not supposed to alter its path or tell it where to go, how to behave...But I can't form words, I can't form any understanding under the Alarm's command.

Fear clutches it to his chest for a frantic moment, eyes panicked and wide. He looks up the large Transfer Tube installed in the ceiling…the tube leading to Long-Term Memory...and, equally if he so chooses, to the Memory Dump.

I stand up. "Fear. Wait."

He takes the Core Memory into his hands and stares deep into its matter. Watching the scene it was born from unfold inside. His eyes begin to dance. Tears roll down his cheeks.

He then looks up, determination burning in his eyes, activates a switch on floor, and the Tube descends, awaiting memories to accept to send out to the pitch black void beyond Headquarters, the void we can't see anymore due to the lighting. "Fear!" I run to attempt to reach him before he can make his move. Without turning to face me, he sprints, the Core Memory tucked tightly against him, toward the pipe.

There is the sudden sound of metalic clanging, and Fear is roughly yanked down to the floor with a painful thud, landing in a heap with his arms stretched before him. The Core Memory slips from his fingers, rolling a good distance away from his reach. Blinking, he panics to rise – but something tugs on him in his attempt and keeps him grounded. He turns at the waist to look behind him and chokes, shaking his head in disbelief. "What-? What is _this_?"

I follow his gaze…down to his ankles. A chain has appeared around either one, made of the same glowing matter his memories are made from. Unlike Worry Orbs, instead more like the Core Memory he was once holding, this material appears solid and unyielding.

Anger stands up and dashes to Fear's position on the floor and examines the chains for himself. He is the one to discover that they are connecting Fear to the foot of the console. Without a word, he begins to tug with all of his might on the end of it, trying to set Fear free. "Joy!" he yells over his shoulder. "Get that Core Memory somewhere safe! Pronto!"

The Core Memory has rolled a fair distance from Fear's reach and the suction of the Transfer Tube. Joy scoops it into her hands and looks all about Headquarters for some shelf to store it on while we work out a -

" _Joy_."

All eyes fall upon Fear.

"Joy…don't ruin your streak now. You've done everything right so far. You're always right about everything. Remember?"  
She blinks, furrowing her brow, lips parted. Just as confused as the rest of us. At first.  
"You need to do the right thing. You need get rid of that Core Memory. And I need to follow it."  
"Fear—"  
"You _have_ to get rid of it."  
"Fear, please—"  
"No! I can't do it anymore!" Fear pounds his fists onto the floor. "I can't keep telling myself that everything will be alright one day, that I'll come to terms with who I am and what I'm capable of, and accept THIS for what it is. No matter how hard I try, despite all of my attempts to fix things, to give her any opportunity to be happy, I just end up hurting her. Over and over again. Don't you understand?! _I'm hurting her_!" He lowers his head and breaks down in front of all of us. "Please….Please don't let me define her anymore. I don't want to define her, I never wanted to define her. I just wanted her to be safe. Without me stands a beautiful little girl with the potential to be _anybody_. You're not the ones holding her back. Let her forget _me_."

Joy stands with the Core Memory in both hands, blinking tears of her own away. She's torn and baffled. She casts her eyes downward, to the Core Memory's surface, and whimpers helplessly.

No one can speak.

 _"June? June?! Stay with me, honey."_

Fear frantically turns to the View…we all do. Dad...it's Dad. At last, we can finally hear Dad.

 _"Easy does it…deep breaths…that's my girl…"_

June is sobbing. I look down to my hands. It's surreal, to hear her cry, and know that I haven't controlled her into doing it. Anger takes his hands away from the chain he's been fighting with and looks at his hands as well. He must feel something too. And Disgust, as well.

The pounding of June's heart begins to slowly, _slowly_ , fade away. Dad is holding June, rocking her back and forth. June slowly opens her eyes, and light begins to fill Headquarters again. We can see that HQ is a disaster…memories are scattered across the floor, one of the windows has cracked, and the console is in tatters, its buttons and keys scattered around the base, where the chains disappear into.

 _"Deep breaths…big, deep breaths, now…"_

The Alarm has run its course.

 _"There there, sweetheart…"_

It's over.

Fear turns slowly onto his back and looks up to the View, up to Dad's voice. And then, eyes fluttering, he gazes back down to the chains that lock him to the foot of the console. He stares at it in disbelief, shifting as though to test that it is real, that it won't fade when he decides he doesn't want it there anymore.

 _"It'll be okay, June,"_ Dad whispers, kissing June's forehead.

Fear's chest heaves. "No," he is saying, deadpan as the last of his tears trickle from his eyes, "No…no, it won't…"

* * *

 **Disclaimer: I do not own any characters or landmarks from Disney Pixar's _Inside Out._ Cover Image belongs to Creative-Dreamr on deviantART . com.**  
 **Thank you so much for reading. I appreciate all of the kind words and criticism! I hope this story resonates with anyone who can relate to June's experience and state of mind. Please enjoy! ~KQSimply  
**  
 *****UPDATE July 21st 2015: Had to change the title. It's been driving me nuts since Chapter 2. :C I'M SORRY. I REALLY SUCK AT TITLES. ( _Fic formerly titled Wound Tight._ )*** ~KQSimply**


	8. Imprisonment

The doctors said that Justice has cancer.

The memory, dark and violet, gets recalled to Headquarters dozens of times throughout each day, and we've come to dread its repetitive arrival. We practically battle our way to the console to banish it back to Long-Term Memory whenever it comes. We were all affected in some way by the news. It left its dark mark on and inside of all of us.

We _hate_ that memory.

Anger changed, the day it was formed. His brow softened and curled…his frightful scowl seemed to leave him as though for good. "Cancer?" he'd said in an unexpectedly low voice. "Isn't cancer…serious? But why? Why Justice? He's our brother. He can't have _cancer_." I watched him as he paced away from the console and began to glare out the window, to the Islands of Personality. They've been down since the day in the principal's office. He was staring in silence out to Family Island…focusing, no doubt, on the Big Brother expansion. I saw as his lips curled in his reflection…as his fists tensed and shook at his sides…I could see his head beginning to swelter and fume with its furious heat…but it never seemed to develop beyond that. He was too frustrated to overheat. Frustrated, hurting, and confused.

Joy approached him cautiously, kneeling down in front of him. Her eyes were dark and grave…but there was a smile for him. "…Anger…."

He turned away from her and proceeded to the break room, kicking the wooden leg of the couch as he approached it. "Just leave me alone."

Joy, brokenhearted and downtrodden from the start, is but a flickering flame now, trying to stay alive. Her mothering nature hasn't left her…she is still trying to take care of us, as she always does. She reminds us that we're still a team, and that we can still fix things, but her voice is soft and quiet…her bright aura seems to have died down.

Disgust has shifted his focus on to her. I watched, one day, as he found Joy seated on the floor against the shelves of increasingly popular purple memories. She was holding a happy one, taken from the moment just before June was asked to accompany the principal to her office. She replayed it over and over again…the look in Riley's eyes when she'd stated how excited she was to include June in something she loved. Disgust knelt down and lifted Joy's head by her chin. He whispered something to her and Joy flashed him a shaky, lop-sided smile, before he pulled her into a soft, unmistakably loving hug, especially for him. He helped her to stand up, handing her an object that had been formerly attached to the console. It was a gear she'd been familiar with for years - the one that made June laugh, sometimes at nothing at all. Together, they made to try to reinstall it.

The console was pulverized, the day the Alarm went off. We're still finding keys and buttons that have broken off scattered here and there. Many of the keys Joy had mastered or became used to operating in the past are missing, and those we've recovered aren't fitting properly in place anymore, no matter how hard we try. Disgust's specialty dials are faulty too, and June is beginning to lose track of what she loved. Everything, now, seems disgusting to her.

And then…there's Fear, trapped, now at the center of the console. He works resignedly around the clock to try to repair the damage that's been done to it. It's pitiful to watch, and it assumes the unintentional results of forcing June to feel the effects of his tampering on an hourly basis. He hasn't been able to leave it, of course, since the Alarm…not for anything. Not to try to hide his worries at the back of Headquarters, not to pace, or relax, or even sleep…he's become a literal slave to the console and is forced to watch the View, recalled memories, and handle Dream Duty, every minute, of every hour, of every day.

We had nearly hit a point where we could have never forgiven Fear for his mistakes…now, our hearts are collectively broken for him.

We've sent out a distress call to the Mind Workers for help. We're in desperate need of repairs to our console and the means to uninstall the chains that keep Fear tethered front and center, but Long Term Memory is dark and seems abandoned. No one has responded to our distress call in days, so it's up to us to help Fear in whatever way we can. We're only able to offer little things – Joy generously brings him cups of his favourite tea throughout the day to help keep him awake, to try to bring him a little cheer and bolster his spirits, and Disgust has moved a soft stool to his position, so that he can at least sit down. Anger comes over at random times, in silence, and pulls fruitlessly at the chains, hoping that one day something will break in his fists – be it the chain, or the rest of the console. We've stopped telling him to be careful…I think he is doing it not only to free Fear from this new prison of his, but also to relieve his own inner struggles.

Fear, exhausted and overwhelmed at once, can do little more than weakly thank everyone for being so kind to him before reluctantly directing his eyes to June's world. I can sense that he doesn't feel he deserves any of our offerings, but has long since given up his requests for us to leave him be, to let him suffer alone. We want things to be better…and realizing how badly he wants to be forgotten…he needs us now, more than ever before.

I wish I could be of more help. I want to talk to him. Every day, I want to talk to him and let him pour himself out to me, just like he used to. I want to tell him that we do need him, that to be afraid sometimes is normal… But as soon as I get close, as soon as I'm anywhere near the console, I feel consumed by it, infatuated…I want to drive instead. I know that my buttons command are still holding strong.

And when I do get close, Fear will look to me wearily, hands hovering near his chest, and slowly pace backward – he can manage no more than two steps before his fetters strain against their anchor - spreading his palm to the console, to let me drive it. Together, we fuel the majority of June's daily memories.

The whole of Headquarters has been washed under cold, perturbing hues of violet and cobalt.

I can't imagine it looking any other way, anymore.

There are two days left until Christmas now, and we have since sent all of the tumbled, broken Christmas decorations to the Memory Dump. What's the point? After all…we know that Christmas just isn't going to be the same, with Justice at the hospital, instead of being here.

 _"_ _June? Sweetie…we need you to eat something."_

I frown, and deliberately push a button on the console.

 _"_ _I'm not hungry."  
"Come on, Junebug, just a few bites."_

I push down on the button again. June shakes her head no. _"My tummy hurts."_ There are memories, now, of Justice, being recalled and obscuring the View entirely. June's heart begins to ache. Slowly, after being excused, June gets up from the dinner table and begins to make her way upstairs. We don't go to her room…I don't want to go there. Instead, June timidly enters Justice's room, closing his bedroom door quietly behind her.

"…Sadness?" Joy places a hand on my shoulder.

"…I just want to look."

I listen as Fear takes a step closer to me, resting his palm on the edge of the console. His chains give his every action away. "We…we aren't supposed to be…" He looks up to the window, over to his desk, and then swallows, trailing off.

I evenly resume control.

June paces around his bedroom, keeping her hands drawn close to her body. Justice never liked when she touched his things….The place looks like it was exactly as he left it. It's almost like he isn't at the hospital at all. It's like he's just out with his friends at the skateboard park, maybe, or at the movies with his girlfriend.

A Worry Orb drifts passed my shoulder. I turn and face Fear, who has finally arrived at my side.

He is still looking up to the View, his eyes shaking and quivering over various objects in Justice's bedroom. June climbs onto Justice's bed and lays belly-down on it, resting her head the warm nest of her arms, on Justice's pillow.

Worry Orbs, half a dozen of them, spring up from behind Fear's back. "…What if he…what if he _never_ gets better?"

I sigh. The thought isn't helping anything right now, but it's enough to push me away, so that she can concentrate on the worries Fear helplessly spoonfeeds to her.

"…What if it keeps getting worse? Can't you die from cancer? …What if…what if he… _dies_?"

"Shut up."

Anger.

We all turn to look at him. Fear cowers into himself and shifts noisily on his feet as Anger begins to approach us, after staying away for so long.

June pinches her eyes shut and it gets dark in Headquarters, making it all the more visible that Anger is beginning to sizzle and spark.

"Just shut up. Alright? No more 'What Ifs'. I've had it with 'What Ifs'."

"I'm sorry, Anger, I can't help it." Fear tugs at his fingers. "It's, it's this room. Just a few days ago, he was here, and now-"

"He's at the hospital. I know. I have eyes, I can see. You're not the only one in here, pal."

He pushes Joy and Disgust aside as he makes his approach to the console. It is only now that I see that he's located one of his specialty tools from the console – it happens to be a lever. Joy and I exchange worried looks.

"Anger," she says carefully, "hold on a minute. No one was saying Fear is the only-"

He cuts her off, shoving Fear out of his way, letting him stumble in his chains. June's eyes snap open. "And you know what?" Anger barks, before his eyes whip back to the View, "You're absolutely right, Fear. There's just something about this room, isn't there? Something about it that makes me wanna puke."

He roughly re-installs his secondary lever, with Fear stammering behind him. June begins to frown.

Joy whimpers and makes to approach him, but Disgust abruptly takes her hand and mine into each of his, and pulls us feet away from the console. "Just stand back let him do his thing ladies. This has been building up for a while now." Disgust leaves our sides and dutifully guides Fear as far back as he can step, careful not to let him trip.

"So how about this: I'll take care of this stupid room for you while you're vacationing at the hospital, big brother. Okay?! How's _that_ sound?!"

"Anger, please don't!" Fear reaches forward as Anger grips his levers, and the console burns with a scorching red glow. An instant later, Fear recoils into Disgust's arms against the blazing heat of Anger's wrath as he furiously thrusts the gears ahead and roars uncontrollably.

June's vision blurs and time stands still and races passed us all at once. She throws the pillow across the bedroom and knocks down a poster, she gets tangled up in the blankets and falls into a heap on the floor. Uses the desk to stand up, bowling everything off of it with her hands once she's on her feet. Kicks over his desk chair. Throws his lamp against the wall.

The View suddenly darkens and it's impossible to make out anything but vague shadows and shapes, but we can still hear the sounds of further destruction. Anger plants his feet and thrusts with all of his might, until the resilient material the console's parts are made from creaks in the panel. His levers begin to permanently bend.

"Anger," Joy shouts over his own chaos, "Anger, stop!"

He clamps his bulging eyes shut. His voice is cutting out. I can't stand it anymore…I begin to cover my ears.

 _"_ _Hey, hey, HEY!"_

Someone grips June's shoulders and tries to seize her wrists.

Anger's eyes flutter open…everything is suddenly quiet and still…light begins to flood Headquarters once more. He gasps and takes huge, heaving breaths at the console as his flames die away, and his hands weakly slide away from each lever. He glares hopelessly up to the stunned eyes of Mom and Dad.

Without another word, staring through the walls, the floor, the entire world, Anger simply turns from the panel and its bent levers, and saunters away, leaving Fear rooted to the console to answer for Anger's actions.

Naturally...Fear can't answer their questions. He locks up, his hands shaking over this key, or that key, but being unable to press it. They want answers. They want to know what's gotten into June, what's made her act this way. Eventually, Fear draws his hands up beneath his jaw and freezes.

I should drive. I know I should drive. I need to drive and tell them how we feel.

But before I can move, Mom sighs, taking June's hand and leading her out of Justice's room, and she tells her that after Christmas break, she's going to see a doctor.

Fear looks like he's going to be sick.

* * *

 **Disclaimer: I do not own any characters or landmarks from Disney Pixar's _Inside Out._ Cover Image belongs to Creative-Dreamr on deviantART . com.**  
 **Thank you so much for reading. I appreciate all of the kind words and criticism! I hope this story resonates with anyone who can relate to June's experience and state of mind. Please enjoy! ~KQSimply  
**  
 *****UPDATE July 21st 2015: Had to change the title. It's been driving me nuts since Chapter 2. :C I'M SORRY. I REALLY SUCK AT TITLES. ( _Fic formerly titled Wound Tight._ )*** ~KQSimply**


	9. Glimmer

Christmas Day simply comes and goes. It's never done _that_ before. Mom is eager to take down the tree and the decorations, doing so as soon as June is finished opening her presents. By supper time, even with the festive dinner laid out before the family, the house looks like Winter, and nothing more. It looks cold, bleak, and stale.

June is trying to look forward to Thursday, when we are going to visit Justice at the hospital and open some belated presents with him while he's in between treatments, but Joy is still having difficulty with the console, which is setting her excitement back. After numerous attempts to work it as smoothly as she once had, Joy throws her hands up in the air and slaps her sides. "What is the matter with this thing? Most of the pieces have been reinstalled, we've updated the drivers, we're going to visit Justice and Fear has been adjusting it non-stop…why can't it just work for me?"

I nod half-heartedly to her, wishing it _would_ work for anyone else. I'm getting so tired…letting someone else man the console would be such a relief…someone other than Fear, who is visibly beginning to break under the demand for his constant attention. He sways on his feet now, fighting to keep his eyes open, to remain eternally wakeful and alert. It seems the harder he fights with himself, the worse his condition gets. His knees buckle, and more than once I've seen him lose consciousness and collapse onto the panel, coming with the adverse results of recalling unwanted memories, or jarring June with sudden realizations or brand new things to worry about when Fear feverishly comes to.

As he surveys the View of Mom and Dad getting ready to drive out to the hospital, his bloodshot eyes begin to flutter and roll back into his head as his consciousness slips again. Disgust and Joy, having been watching him over their shoulders, are quick to react, catching him by either arm. Fear moans in their grasps as they guide him back toward his chair and lower him into it. He opens his eyes again, dizzily registering the console and sighing a tired, hopeless sigh.

Disgust regards him piteously and retreats to the break room, where I am sure he is headed to prepare him yet another cup of tea, while Joy ensures Fear is at least as comfortable as he can be. She stoops and fixes his bow tie for him after smoothing out wrinkles in his vest. "You poor thing. There, now, just have a seat. You must be exhausted…"

Fear, after some hesitation, takes his eyes away from the foot of the console and blinks back up to her. "...I'm sorry, Joy...did you ask me something?"

Underscoring her point.

She sighs and smiles sadly, shaking her head, just as Disgust returns with a warm cup of tea. Disgust guides Fear's hands and fingers into position before offering the weight of the cup to them entirely. Fear's hands shake so badly that red tea spills over the edges of the cup, and he is overeager for a sip he can just barely manage.

"Never mind, Fear," soothes Joy sympathetically. "Just try to take it easy. You've done enough." She lays a tender, reassuring hand upon his face and gently raises his head from its lowered position. "…I'm going to try to drive again. We'll see if we can't make June smile, if only for a moment. You just relax."

The corners of Fear's mouth curl into a brief, timid grin. "Thank you, Joy," he says dimly, winking one eye closed as Disgust licks his thumb and stubbornly cleans an imperfection away from Fear's cheek.

Stepping over the chains draped across the floor, Joy approaches the console again and rubs her hands together. His view obscured, Fear finally lets his eyes fall from the display above us and turns his attention onto his tea, trying desperately to drink without spilling.

Now, I watch as Joy endures a physical argument with the console. Her buttons are still faulty. Her warm glow permeates panel for several hopeful moments before flickering out, at random. She tugs at levers and cranks and joysticks and tries to make June feel something good, trying to create just one sunny memory in a vast, nighttime sky of those which are saddened and afraid, as we drive to the hospital on this chilly afternoon.

The hospital begins to take shape on the View…and predictably, Fear's chains shift and jingle on the floor…he has stood up, so as to see out to the world better around Joy's shoulders. She pretends to pay him no mind…even as several Worry Orbs float aimlessly beyond her shoulder.

No matter how hard he tries or how painfully exhausted he is, now that he's chained to the console, Fear can't resist taking control. It's this endless exposure to the View that tempts him into it every time.

Inside the hospital, Mom takes June's hand and leads her and her father down a hallway and up an elevator. Justice is on floor 8, in room H-808. "Well…that's easy enough to remember. It's has our age in it so many times," Joy says in a desperate attempt to stay positive. I half-expect to see a Worry Orb of her own appear from behind her head.

Dad knocks his fingers against the side of a doorway, and we step inside.

Fear's teacup slips from his fingers and shatters on the floor. He stumbles back to the console, rotating a gear immediately with his left hand while inputting various codes, disregarding Joy's continued attempts to drive. He has the console mastered now, memorized from left to right…he doesn't even need to look at it. It's hard to decipher who is driving whom.

"Justice looks so _wrong_ ," Fear gasps. "He's pale, and - and why are there tubes in his arms? Do they hurt? And, those clothes – don't they only put the sickest people in those kinds of outfits? Is Justice okay? Is he... _dying_?"

Where Joy had been incapable of producing so much as one memory, Fear has just created several in less than thirty seconds. Fear commands the console for the remainder of the visit, and Joy, defeated, moves to lean against the shelving again, closing her eyes.

 _"_ _...You're awfully quiet, Junebug,"_ says Justice, out of nowhere. His voice is hoarse…he's still in a lot of pain, but he's trying to hide it. He can't hide anything like that from me, though. _"What's on your mind?"_

June looks up to him and gnaws her lip. Unbelievably, after being down for so long, Bashful Island noisily shudders outside and tries to power up. Fear looks over his shoulder to it and gasps, as stunned as I am. "Wh-what? But why?" He looks down to the console, as though he'll find the answer down there somewhere. Of course, when he comes up empty-handed, Fear looks up again to see that June has redirected her attention to the floor. She can't quite look at Justice anymore.

There are plenty of Worry Orbs now…there is plenty on June's mind. Why can't we just tell him?

Mom and Dad distract Justice with questions for a while, but just as Fear begins to relent, Justice looks down to June again, and offers us another opening. "… _C'mon, buddy. You okay? Penny for your thoughts?"_

 _"_ _She's had a rough few weeks, dear,"_ Mom says for us. I groan silently. " _You know…Given the circumstances."_

 _"…_ _Yeah. I can imagine."_ Justice looks well into June's eyes…It feels almost as though he's looking directly at us. Trying to find the thing responsible for June's silence. Fear locks up at the console and suddenly removes his hands, eying Justice with great respect, suddenly…terror, in fact.

And then, Justice breaks away. He looks down and back up again. _"I'm sorry for killing the mood this Christmas, June. If I could have had it my way I would have waited until, I dunno…maybe until finals week. Maybe they would have excused me. I never studied anyway."_

He waits for something. Fear is dumbfounded, searching the console again for an answer.

" _Fear_ ," says Joy insistently.

"—Oh. Ah, yes. Um." He pushes down a key…June flashes Justice a very brief, nervous smile. The look Justice gives us, the strange, furrowing of his brow and parting of his lips, is powerful enough to create yet another fearful memory.

It is the last memory June is able to keep of this visit before the rest of our stay becomes somewhat of a haze…before we know it, we are saying goodbye. June reaches up on tip-toe to give him a tight hug around the neck. We feel warmth…When June closes her eyes, it's almost like we're home. Like nothing's changed. If we ignore the eerie hospital smells and the sounds, it could be just like we were in the living room, saying goodbye before Justice goes on long class trip.

A dozen Worry Orbs appear at once. Fear cringes and races to twist a knob on the console, causing June's grip to strengthen in desperation around Justice's shoulders. She opens her eyes, splashing all of us with the cold reality of where we really are. She doesn't want to let go. She's too _afraid_ to let go. But eventually, she has to. It's time to go home.

Fear collapses back into his chair the moment we're in the car and have fastened the seatbelt. He slowly lowers his face into his hands. "I don't know how much longer I can take this..."

I slowly take it upon myself to resume control of the console.

Halfway home, a memory is unexpectedly recalled, obstructing the View. It's the latest memory we have of Justice. The lack of trust in his eye. The enigmatic appearance of knowing we aren't being true to ourselves anymore. The visible fact that he must know there's something wrong with June. With _us_.

"…Sadness?"

I turn around at the waist, keeping my hands on the panel.

"…Send that memory back to Long-Term. Please?"

I sigh and banish it as we pull into the driveway.

Mom and Dad head indoors, but I convince June to ask to remain outside, using Ace, who probably needs the fresh air anyway, as an excuse. It's starting to snow…June used to love the snow…she and I just want to watch it fall together, and try to remember what it used to mean to us. When it's time to go back in…I just don't feel ready or able too. I don't want June to go back inside. She opens the door for Ace, but, perhaps able to sense her heartache, Ace sits down dutifully on the step and pants, his brown eyes staring up us.

Eventually, June shuts the door and sits down next to him, putting an arm around his furry shoulders.

She does love his doggy smell and his big, meaningless grin. June reaches to idly scratch him gently behind the ears, and listens as his tail thumps hopefully against the icy steps to the house.

Joy has tip-toed to my side. She is watching Fear closely, at first, who is struggling to keep his head upright. His eyelids bob and he appears faint and incoherent. She turns back to the View and gently deploys a single button that, to her surprise, works. June gives the tiniest of smiles, and scratches Ace beneath his chin, where he really likes it, and he leaps up to sloppily lick her cheek.

A happy memory tumbles out at long last, lined up for the journey to Long-Term. Joy issues a deep, satisfied sigh and closes her eyes. "…Ah… _Finally_..."

There is the soft jangling of chain, suddenly, indicating movement from Fear. Admittedly, I'm worried he has found something new to fret over, in spite of this single, happy moment at last – but when I turn, I come to find that Fear has fallen asleep at long last, and has tumbled harmlessly from the chair. He curls into himself slightly before his body goes limp, save for his deep, slumbering breaths from his chest.

This must be the first time he's slept in days. Joy rushes to quietly snatch a cushion from the couch to gently tuck beneath his head, before returning to the console, next to me me. _"_...Sleep tight, Fear...it's about time."

June sits out on the step for a while afterward, and Joy and I share the console together for once, as a strange, erratic team. For the most part, June simply contemplates me, holding my hand, so to speak, in silence, watching the snow…Joy takes baby steps in re-mastering control of the console. She hits only tiny buttons at a time, turning to Ace for small comforts. Pleasantly enough, lights in Puppy Dog Island begin to shine and sparkle. They flicker and cut out, but Joy and I exchange hopeful glances with one another.

It's while I'm driving, and June is seated with her chin in her hands, elbows on her knees, when Ace suddenly stands up and his tail wags wildly. June looks up and we see that someone is heading down the driveway. To our surprise, we find that it's Riley. Her hands are tucked in her coat pockets…she has sad, strange eyes to offer June, as she approaches and invites herself to sit down, letting Ace sniff and lick at her un-gloved palm.

I look over my shoulder. Fear is still sound asleep on the floor.

Joy means to race up to the console, but I shake my head. "Joy...the console's still not acting right. I think you need to give it a little time. Do you mind if I keep driving?"

It's painful for Joy to do it, understandably. Riley sits in silence next to us, while I patiently wait for Joy to take a step back. Drawing a brief, steadying breath, she finally let's go.

I look up to the View, as June slowly turns to Riley.

 _"…_ _Hi, June."_

 _"…_ _Hi, Riley."_

I begin to wonder if Riley is upset with us, because we have definitely missed her big game by now. I'm surprised, instead, to hear her say something different.

 _"_ _I'm really sorry to hear about your brother."_

I blink. My hands hesitate over the buttons.

 _"_ _The teacher told us what happened the day before Christmas Break. I told my mom when I got home…I guess our moms used to work together a long time ago. She says you and your parents are welcome over for dinner sometime. I think she's already on the phone with your mom…but I wanted to make sure someone told you, too."_

June looks to Riley with lost eyes. No one has ever reached out like this before. Riley grins lopsidedly and digs about in her pockets. _"Oh…also, we made this for you."_ She dips into her pocket and pulls out a tiny paper snowflake, signed by all of the kids in her class in the corners. _"The teacher called it a Hope Flake. We hope everything is going to be okay, June."_

June takes it into her hands and beholds it, turning it over and over in her hands. It's so beautiful. _So_ beautiful. June turns to Riley and together, she and I struggle to find the right words. I push a button, and a lump forms in June's throat, silencing her.

Joy, smiling understandingly to me as she does so, reaches to the console and turns a crank by a single rotation.

 _"…_ _Thank you, Riley,_ " June whispers. She is smiling, with her eyes full of tears. The memory to tumble out in response is bright yellow with swirls and spatters of blue.

It must be the most beautiful memory I've ever seen…

…And _I_ helped create it.

* * *

 **Disclaimer: I do not own any characters or landmarks from Disney Pixar's _Inside Out._ Cover Image belongs to Creative-Dreamr on deviantART . com.**  
 **Thank you so much for reading. I appreciate all of the kind words and criticism! I hope this story resonates with anyone who can relate to June's experience and state of mind. Please enjoy! ~KQSimply  
**  
 *****UPDATE July 21st 2015: Had to change the title. It's been driving me nuts since Chapter 2. :C I'M SORRY. I REALLY SUCK AT TITLES. ( _Fic formerly titled Wound Tight._ )*** ~KQSimply**


	10. Reunion

"These are looking positively stellar, Joy. Finally starting to work your magic in the driver's seat again…I'm _completely_ jealous." Disgust paces up and down the lines of today's memories, pausing before the last three final three right up to June's bedtime…One featuring June smiling with Ace; another from when June showed Mom and Dad the gift we'd been given from our class; and of course, there is the multi-colour memory we created after our encounter with Riley. Disgust pauses before this memory and sets a hand on his hip, gesturing with a scrutinizing finger. "So, what's with this one?"

Joy glances enigmatically to me – I let my hair hang over my face and try to keep a helpless smile to myself – and happily explains what had happened. She picks the memory up off the shelf and spins around with it. "Oh, it was the best, it really was. It was maybe the nicest thing any kid's ever done for us. It made us feel so good that…that…"

"That we _cried_ ," I say timidly. Joy nods in agreement and shrugs her shoulders at Disgust, who looks confused.

" _Weeeeird_ ," he muses. "Who knew Emotions could get tangled up over the console like that? Hand it over, Joy – I want a closer look." Joy tosses it to him (he is an expert catch) and he holds it up close to his face, replaying the memory a few times. He can't help but smirk. "...Wow..this is _way_ too cool."

Anger slowly approaches the two, eyeing Joy's collection of three happy memories for the day. His scowl seems to soften. As few as Joy's memories are, it's still been the happiest day we've had since Justice was taken to the hospital. I watch as Anger breaks into a small, satisfied grin, and now, after such a long period of suppressing himself from us, he joins in the discussion of the day as June lies in bed, staring at the Hope Flake on her night side table.

The growing collection of everyone's enthusiastic voices slowly begins to rouse Fear, who, until this moment, had remained curled up on the floor, fast asleep. I shush the others from where I stand as he starts to stir, but no one pays attention just yet – they're too excited. I make my way over to Fear as he sits up slowly and rubs his eyes, with the intention of telling him to try to go back to sleep. He's barely had a chance to rest, after days and days of being forced to stay awake.

He stretches – something cracks – and suddenly becomes alert again, panicking because he may have missed some important or frightening event. I arrive in front of him as quickly as I can to calm him down. "Everything's alright - you just fell asleep." He looks up at me and frowns as his antennae starts to curl behind his head, which is a clear indication that he's worrying about something anyway. "I'm sorry…You looked so peaceful, and Joy and I were driving, and we figured, well – we figured we should just let you—"

"Joy?" Fear's brow elevates slightly. He turns slightly at the waist to face the origin of the voices behind him. "Joy was…driving?" A tiny suggestion of a hopeful smile is beginning to emerge.

I reach down to help him up to his feet, and he directs his attention at once to the shelves until he spots Joy's bright, cheery memories seated amongst a day of purple and blue. He compares the two ranging collections with his eyes as they dart to and fro. "And she…she was able to produce memories? The console actually behaved for her?" Together, he and I watch as Disgust holds out the memory Joy and I created, so that everyone can gather around him to study and replay it. My face feels a little hot now that I realize Disgust is complimenting _my_ work too. Praise from Disgust, after all, is very rare and coveted by those of us in Headquarters.

Fear's brow curls with curiosity and his smile brightens. He curls his fingers in front of his chest as he enquiringly approaches the group, appearing hypnotized by their contagious delight and the odd glow of the mixed memory they are passing around to one another. Fear wants to see it too.

He is only reminded of the chains around his ankles when, on his third or fourth eager step, he is jerked to a sudden halt. Stunned, Fear looks down to his left foot, trapped in mid-step, pulling the purple chain taut against the base of the console. Realizing he can't move any farther, he sighs, defeated, and his eyes lower to the floor. He hasn't left reach of the edge of the Panel, and is still kept a great distance away from the other distracted Emotions.

Oh Fear...I'm so sorry...

Frowning, I step forward and reach to take his clammy hand into mine, holding it gently between us, and I put my free hand into the air. "…Joy?"

Though my voice is very soft and easily overcome by those of Disgust and Anger, Joy hears me and looks over to us at once. Sometimes, I feel as though she can read my mind. Smiling tenderly, she nods, re-gathers the memories they had been sharing and gestures that the group brings what she calls "the reunion" over to the console.

"Morning, sleepyhead," she says to Fear as she passes us to approach the Memory Projector. Fear bashfully squirms and taps his index fingers together. "I didn't think you'd be awake so soon. But you have great timing...I think you'll really like these. Here - we can all remember them together."

I look to Joy as well and grin timidly. "...Just like we used to?"

Joy hesitantly nods...a deep, humble wisdom radiates from her eyes. "Yeah."

Just as soon as Anger and Disgust have assumed their old, favourite spots behind the console, Joy let's one of her yellow memories float up into the air where it can be projected across the View. Fear, starry-eyed, gazes up to the memory of June and Ace out on the snowy steps of their home. As Ace leans toward her to sloppily kiss her cheek, we all feel the warmth of June's smile as she remembers along with us.

It's really a very minor, simple memory, but it's the first time in what feels like ages that June truly felt any semblance of happiness. Fear's eyes sparkle and he giddily tucks good-natured fists up in front of his chest, as though trying to hold the warm sensation close to his heart.

Grinning - perhaps more because of Fear's response than at the memory she's already replayed a hundred times - Joy shows off another pleasant memory, from when June displayed the gift she received from her class to Mom and Dad. They were so happy and touched to see how other people are thinking about June at a time like this, and it had felt good. Normally the attention would make June feel shy and a little embarrassed, but this kind expression, the love and care that had gone into this gift in her time of need… Fear's lips slowly separate and his eyes dance. "Oh, that's…this is _wonderful_ , Joy."

"Hold on now - it gets better." Joy lets the yellow and blue memory into the air to be projected, next. I can't resist a tiny smile. This is when I come in. This is when my work did something good for June.

The bottom edges of the View are obscured by tears in this one, and unsurprisingly, Fear is confused at first and his smile threatens to fade. He is startled by the vision of Riley's blue eyes, her honest and caring smile for June. He had been so worried a few days ago, after all, that Riley wouldn't forgive us for not showing up to her big hockey game after agreeing to go, but then, here she was to prove that she completely understood - not only that, but that she was concerned about June and her situation, and wanted to see if she was okay.

Fear is now tearing up along with June's memory. The smile he bears is unlike anything I've ever seen in him. He draws his hands gently around his arms, embracing himself. "…Why, I…oh, _Joy_ …" He has to gulp in order to continue. "...June hasn't felt like this in so long…I'd been starting to wonder if maybe I'd broken her _forever_."

At this, I suddenly glance at Fear. Disgust and Anger glance at Fear. All eyes have fallen upon Fear, and our collective smiles are wiped from our faces. Fear, oblivious, still lost in the display of June's memory, is the last smiling figure standing in Headquarters. He sighs contentedly and his hands embrace one another as he watches the remainder of the memory pan out.

No one else is sure of what to say...The memory ends, and Fear is left standing at the console before a dark, empty View. June has fallen asleep. Slowly, he paces around to face Joy, beaming at her, rosy and thankful, and this is when it must dawn on him...what his words have meant to us. Fear rapidly passes his eyes over everyone and suddenly frowns, noisily backing himself up against the console.

"…Fear," says Joy, slowly but firmly, as she begins to approach him, "…You can't talk like that…the console was damaged when you were doing everything in your power to help while the Alarm was going off. That's all it was. You and I both know that you didn't do any damage on purpose. Right? We _both_ understand that?"

Fear blinks and draws into himself, wringing his hands. "Well…I suppose it—I mean, of course it wasn't on _purpose_ …but if I hadn't—I mean, if it wasn't for me—"

Joy cuts him off, and the other Emotions begin to crowd in close to him, their eyes full of concern. I take Fear's hand again and squeeze his fingers. I want him to know that he's safe. "The important thing is that every day, we are working on a solution together." She reaches with her fingertips to dry a stray tear from his cheek before pulling him into a soft, gentle hug that stuns him into complete silence. "I promise…it's going to be okay, Fear. We're going to get you out of this awful set-up and fill June's mind up with happy memories again. I _promise_ everything's going to be okay."

I clasp onto Fear's arm with both hands and press my cheek onto his elbow. Disgust adds his arms overtop of Joy's and widens our group-hug. Anger groans and holds out a hand as though waiting for Fear to break the hug apart and shake formally…Joy, however, hauls Anger in and forces him into the hug as well, despite his grumbling protests.

Fear sniffles noisily and closes his eyes. He's holding his breath…trying not to cry. I've seen that a million times in June, and in other people.

"Thank you. I-I… _thank_ _you_."

Eventually, after Joy and Anger send all of today's memories down to Long-Term, it comes time for us to say good night, leaving Fear to his permanent post on Dream Duty. After sensing his loneliness, realizing how badly he, too, needed to see a cheerful moment for June, and to know that somebody still cared about him…it's difficult to leave him out here, chained to the console for yet another long, sleepless night. We all stall as we say good night to him, this time, on our way to our warm, comfortable bedrooms. We feel collectively terrible about his situation.

I happen to turn around before I close our bedroom door, and I see that he has stepped after us as far as he possibly can, until the chains haul tightly on his ankles. He gestures his farewell, weakly curling his fingers in and out at everyone's backs. "Goodnight, gang," he whispers, as he slowly turns back around to the empty View.

 _...Goodnight, Fear..._

Somehow, and I don't know what's telling me this…But somehow, I know this wasn't your fault.

* * *

 **Disclaimer: I do not own any characters or landmarks from Disney Pixar's _Inside Out._ Cover Image belongs to Creative-Dreamr on deviantART . com.**  
 **Thank you so much for reading. I appreciate all of the kind words and criticism! I hope this story resonates with anyone who can relate to June's experience and state of mind. Please enjoy! ~KQSimply  
**  
 *****UPDATE July 21st 2015: Had to change the title. It's been driving me nuts since Chapter 2. :C I'M SORRY. I REALLY SUCK AT TITLES. ( _Fic formerly titled Wound Tight._ )*** ~KQSimply**


	11. Waking Up

...I'm awake...stirring under my blankets...

Groggily, I open my eyes and sit up in bed, immediately sensing that something is wrong.

In the dim light of the bedroom, I can make out the vague outlines of each of the other Emotions asleep in their beds. Joy lays cuddled up to the stuffed bear she'd taken as a souvenir from Imagination Land. Anger fights in his sleep to keep the blankets flat across his bare feet, and Disgust's head is hidden beneath the pillow, and he snores peacefully into his bed sheets. And of course, Fear's bed is still cold and empty. It seems as though no one else has caught onto the disruption that drew me out of my sleep. What's going on?

I tiptoe to the end of the bedroom and quietly open the door to make my exit. The instant I'm out in the main hub of Headquarters at the top of the stairs, I am hit with the awful, wicked collection of sounds that can only mean the Alarm is going off.

June's heartbeat thunders so loudly that I barely hear my own helpless shudder. Her breaths are shallow and rash. A piercing, ringing tone plays non-stop in my ears. I wince and look out to the console, seeing that Fear is madly striking buttons and thrusting levers and twisting knobs, eyes fastened to the View, where June seems to be looking into the dark, non-distinguishable faces of several doctors at the hospital. Justice is behind them in a a hospital bed, and somehow, I know at first glance that he's dead.

"You're brother's gone, June," a doctor says, confirming my thoughts, and my heart plummets. He leans in close to the View…close to _us_. His eyes are appalling and abstract, burning like furnaces, distorting his skull. I can't bare to look. Fear can't look away. "You won't see him anymore."

"And cancer is _hereditary_ ," says another doctor as horrifying as the last. "That means you'll be gone next."

"NO!" Fear shouts over the din, "Enough of this, enough. It's a dream, it's just a dream, it's _JUST A DREAM_."

And he's right.

The Alarm's light bulb is dark, the hushed nighttime lights of Headquarters are still on, and the rumbling which usually accompanies its activation is not present. The Alarm is currently dormant.

June is having a nightmare.

"Wake up, June!" Fear throttles the edges of the console as though he has someone by the shoulders. " _You have to wake up!_ "

I run down the ramp toward his position, uselessly calling his name through the terrifying sounds of June's nightmare. Down here, armed with the knowledge that June is asleep, I am able to see the sheer amount of Worry Orbs that have been sent up into the air. The Alarm isn't on _yet_ , but too many of these can and _will_ set it off. I have to calm him down.

In the View, a doctor is pulling a latex glove over his hand, his awful eyes staring directly at us. Fear hesitates over the console, eyes wide and filling with dread as they lock into those of the dream figure. His entire body heaves for breath as he watches the eerie movements of the doctor's hand.

There is a blinding flash of light, and suddenly the hand rakes outward to snatch us, its fingers and palm coated and dripping with Justice's unsightly blood, coming for ours.

Fear screams and slams both of his hand downs on a button on the console, and with a shriek of her own, June bursts awake. At once, though I can still hear her gasping for breath, the ringing in her ears and the pounding of her heart stops.

Fear is gasping and gritting his teeth, bracing himself on the edge of the console. His entire body is shaking and he drips clear, glittering sweat onto the console. I reach to put my hand on his back and expect him to startle, but he doesn't so much as flinch. Like he's catatonic before me.

June starts to curl into herself, her hands clamped tightly over her ears. Fear's violet memories begin to roll down the rails, knocking into each other in rapid succession, one immediately after another. The Worry Orbs split and divide, doubling in their numbers.

"Fear," I whisper desperately, "Fear, it's over...It was just a dream."

"No, no, _no_ …I forgot, how could I have let myself _forget_ , it's today, it's today, we're going to see the doctors _today_." His eyes pan onto me as his fingers curl and dig into the edge of the console. "We, w-we were dreaming about being in school again, we were playing in a park, and Justice was there. I thought about him in the hospital, and that's when I remembered, a-and suddenly the whole dream twisted into a horrible mess because of me. I shouldn't have let my guard down, I can't _believe_ I fell asleep on the job and let myself get so absorbed in those happy memories - I'm not _supposed_ to feel happy, I need to worry about Justice. I should have known better. This is my fault, this is _all_ my fault."

June begins to rock herself back and forth in bed.

I listen as the others begin to emerge from the bedroom and make their way down a level.

"Ugh, what the hell happened?" asks Anger.  
"Was it a nightmare?" asks Joy.  
Disgust gasps. "Look at all of these things, they're _everywhere_. We've got to get them out of here." A Transfer Tube descends at his command. I hear as he attempts to burst and collect the Worry Orbs as they float about the room. "Try to gather them up and we'll send them to – I don't know - the Subconscious."  
"Good thinking," Anger says. "They'll float right out of the Dump. Come on."

The Anger and Disgust make this their jobs, while Joy arrives at our position and sets a hand upon Fear's shoulder.

"It'll be okay," she says soothingly.

Fear chews aggressively on his fingers beneath her hand, and in turn, so does June. "No," he says. "No, it won't be. "

"Yes it will. You'll see."

He finally looks up to face her. His bloodshot eyes are giant globes of panic. "You don't _know_ that! You don't know what can happen between now and then, you can't _possibly_ know. There are only guesses, guesses and guesses and guesses upon guesses. The outcomes are _endless_. And I don't know where to keep putting them all, Joy. I'm running out of space in my head."

"Fear-"  
"What if it _isn't_ okay? What will we _do_? What good will your beautiful, happy memories be if the worst comes to worst? And it can - it always can, the worst can always find away. Nothing is stopping things from turning out _badly_. What if it _isn't okay?!_ "

Joy is so desperate to help Fear rationalize, when his nature is irrationality. Her voice cracks while they continue to argue. I look up to the View, and then back to them.

I just let them argue. I look back to June's dark bedroom, to her bare toes curled tight against her feet, and close my eyes, sensing the heartache in June's chest. A frown darkens my face. All of a sudden, while Fear and Joy continue to beg one another to understand, I'm driving the console.

June draws a sharp, startling breath and sobs into her hands. I am dimly aware that the voices and activity behind me have stopped, that everyone is staring at me and my work. I pay them no mind. I'm here for June. I belong to June.

And I just drive.

* * *

 **Disclaimer: I do not own any characters or landmarks from Disney Pixar's _Inside Out._ Cover Image belongs to Creative-Dreamr on deviantART . com.**  
 **Thank you so much for reading. I appreciate all of the kind words and criticism! I hope this story resonates with anyone who can relate to June's experience and state of mind. Please enjoy! ~KQSimply  
**  
 *****UPDATE July 21st 2015: Had to change the title. It's been driving me nuts since Chapter 2. :C I'M SORRY. I REALLY SUCK AT TITLES. ( _Fic formerly titled Wound Tight._ )*** ~KQSimply**


	12. It's Time

Almost an hour has passed, and the other Emotions have gone back to bed.

Fear is pacing from one end of the console to the other behind me, keeping June wide awake and occasionally almost tripping me with the chains he drags back and forth. The Worry Orbs proved impossible to banish completely…they have infested Headquarters, and when one bursts against a window or furnishing, two more arrive to take its place. In my peripheral, I spot the Alarm as its ultraviolet light occasionally flickers, attempting to power on.

Any time, now, the Alarm is sure to go off. It's torture for the both of us to simply have to wait until it does.

June's tears have run their course. Her head buzzes and she feels sick to her stomach. Her chest hurts. She has the hiccups from crying so much. Lights are blinking on the console, indicating other various pains that we don't have any control over.

The room is suddenly very quiet, free of the sound of dragging metal, because Fear has paused. I turn around and I look at him.

"…Why?" he whispers. "…Why did Headquarters force June to keep _me_?"

His eyes drop to the chains at his ankles and he sighs, weakly lowering into his chair where he crouches over his hands as he wrings them. The Alarm's light flickers again and for a moment he sits beneath it in silence, cringing. I take a deep breath...but nothing happens. Fear's shoulders ease, and he looks down to study his palms.

"…I don't care what happens to me anymore...I just want June to be free from this. I just want her to feel safe. I want things to be okay. I really do. Why is that so difficult? Was it too much to ask? At what point did I become her worst enemy, when all I wanted for her was the very best? The world was bad enough, before they added me to it...and now, I can't even escape _myself_ anymore."

His voice is broken and hoarse. I reach to take his hand as tears of his own begin to overflow.

"…Sadness…will this end?...will this _ever_ end?" His eyes come to a gradual close and he bows his head. "...I...I don't know what to do…what am I supposed to do?..."

I blink... I study the floor... I frown...

...And, I realize...I have an answer.

I let go of his hand to his quiet dismay and I slowly make my way to the corner of Headquarters, where we've hidden Fear's Core Memory.

The day it was crafted, we didn't know what to do with it. Core Memories are crucial, and they can't simply be tossed away - we can all agree on that, except for Fear. I couldn't let anybody throw it to the Memory Dump as Fear had desperately begged us to do. It had been my idea to hide it inside of a covered glass display case amongst June's Mind Manual Library, well out of Fear's view until we could come up with a plan for it.

I guess this is it.

Fear lifts his eyes to me as I return, and horror washes over his face as I set the case into his lap and remove the black velvet covering, revealing what is inside.

"M-my Core Memory," he shudders, his eyes darting up and down. "It—I thought it had been sent to the Memory Dump." He looks up to me and he begins to tremble. "...Oh no. No."

I resolve to unlock the case, and I let the fragile door swing open. I let him stare at it for quite some time. I watch as tears continue to stream down his face. Eventually, after a bolstering swallow, he reaches in to take the Core Memory up into his hands, holding it away from his body. The Worry Orbs seem bizarrely drawn to it - they fly intently to Fear's position to hover around the Core Memory, surrounding us in all of the moments and worries that has lead us all the way up to this very moment.

I look up at him. "...We need to do something about this. We need to do what we should have done the day your Core Memory was created before things get any worse."

Fear pulls the Core Memory tight to his body for a moment, and his eyes shake and dance on some thought he doesn't wish to express.

But, at last, he draws a deep, shuddering breath. His fingers curl into the Memory tightly, until the whole sphere rocks and shakes in his grip. Residual tears drip onto the memory's surface. "Sadness...Without me, June can be _anybody_ she wants to be...She's barely nine years old." He closes his eyes again and sobs. "Please. I'm only holding her back. Don't make me do this. Don't let me _define_ who June is. I'd do anything to keep that from happening."

He opens his eyes and watches as I leave him a second time, beginning my search for something else. Once I've located it, I return and take him gently by the wrist to lead him and his Core Memory up to the console.

I insert an Idea Bulb into a socket on the left of the panel. It lights up, and June slowly opens her eyes. Fear and I both watch intently for perhaps a full minute, before the Bulb slowly descends in its socket, locking in place.

She took it.

Slowly, June rises out of bed and makes her way down the hall. All of the lights in the house are out…Mom and Dad are in their bedroom, talking to each other.

We walk passed them and make our way downstairs.

"…Sadness?" Fear's brow begins to curl. "What's going on? Where are we going?"

June quietly opens the closet door and puts her coat and her mittens on over her pajamas. She looks to the living room and whispers for Ace to stay.

She then opens the door, facing the cold air of this winter night.

"S-Sadness? Sadness! Listen, what-what are you doing?!"

I move take control of the console, piloting June forward in spite of his stammering protests and desperate pleas for an explanation. I turn to Fear and sigh, gently pulling him close to me...

...And I tell him, "It's time to talk to somebody."

* * *

 **Disclaimer: I do not own any characters or landmarks from Disney Pixar's _Inside Out._ Cover Image belongs to Creative-Dreamr on deviantART . com.**  
 **Thank you so much for reading. I appreciate all of the kind words and criticism! I hope this story resonates with anyone who can relate to June's experience and state of mind. Please enjoy! ~KQSimply  
**  
 *****UPDATE July 21st 2015: Had to change the title. It's been driving me nuts since Chapter 2. :C I'M SORRY. I REALLY SUCK AT TITLES. ( _Fic formerly titled Wound Tight._ )*** ~KQSimply**


	13. Walk

June wanders the dark, snowy streets of the city in silence, tucking her mittens beneath her arms in an effort to keep warm. She is having trouble remembering exactly which way to go, and so I help her. I've memorized the route. When she takes the wrong turn I simply prompt her to continue. I don't mind going the long way around.

Fear panics behind me, trying to work around my body to reach for the console. I do my best not to let him manage it. "Have you lost your mind? We can't be out here! Mom and Dad are going to kill us. Seriously! This is _bad_. It's so dark – we could get lost and freeze to death, or, or get kidnapped or hit by a car or—"

I refuse to budge. I gaze ahead, steadfast, and I say, "Keep walking, June. We're almost there."

"For crying out loud, Sadness, where are you taking us? This is such a bad idea. No, we—we have to turn around. Right now. I'm taking us home." Being taller than me, he stretches his arm over my head in an attempt to grip and rotate a wheel near the upper edge of the panel. I hear a muted _zap_ and Fear tears his hand back to his chest. "Ouch! What in the—?"

He looks over to my Idea Bulb…the bulb itself, I think, is protecting the console from his interference as it generates June's current plan. Fear moans, winding his hands tightly together, and begins to pace again. Feverishly.

It feels like we walk forever because it's cold, and June can't feel her toes anymore since they are bare in her boots. But it really isn't such a long journey. Before we know it, we've reached our destination.

Fear stops dead in his tracks and gazes up to the View, beginning to cower and crouch behind my back. "…H-here? You brought us here? The _hospital?_ "

June begins to step inside, where it's warm and bright again.

"No. I don't want to do this. Not alone. Not so soon after that horrible nightmare. Not after all we've been through."

June is careful to avoid the eyes of the hospital staff as she moves toward an elevator.

"Why now? Why couldn't this have waited until tomorrow? Mom was going to make us talk to the doctors whether I liked it or not. I could have just let June say nothing is wrong and they'd have to believe her - they're _doctors_ for Pete's sake, they'd have to take her word for it. Wh-why did we have to come here now in the middle of the night, by ourselves? I don't want to do this, Sadness. I'm scared."

I look at him. I try to sound stern…but how can I? I'm not Anger. Instead, I'm Sadness. I sound like myself. Only right now, I hurt. And I just can't hurt anymore. "Fear…I'm not the one you need to explain that to."

Floor 8. Room H-808.

I lead June to Justice's room and have her quietly open the door. Fear's posture softens, his eyes expand comprehensively, and he stumbles up close to the other side of the console, leaning his hands upon it for balance and strength. My desperate measures have rendered him speechless and utterly dumbstruck.

Justice is working on his tablet, too absorbed to fully notice June's arrival as she uncertainly saunters up him under my gentle prompting. After a moment she sniffles, and Justice turns his head sharply in her direction.

 _"—June? …June! What—what are you doing here?"_ He notices her pajama pants and frowns. _"Where's Mom and Dad?"_

June looks up to him, silent. Her eyes are burning and wet...Her heart is agonizingly heavy...

...I gradually step aside, and turn around to Fear, whose quivering hands begin to rise up before his jaw. The purpose he is to serve on this mission has dawned on him at last. I slowly uproot the Idea Bulb I had implanted in June's head, and June's brow begins to bend.

I look down to the Core Memory Fear had previously set loose on the floor and insist, with a mild nod, that he lift it into his hands again. He obeys after some stuttering hesitation...I select a single button on the console to activate the mechanisms responsible for displaying memories on the View.

Expelling a heavy, defeated sigh, Fear advances as far as his chains will allow him and stretches forward to carefully feed the memory to the suction of air that will hold it in place for the projector.

It arrives all too soon, appearing distorted and frightening under the violet wash of Fear's memory. We see Dad's eyes staring deep into ours, the pain he was radiating, the tone of his voice as he explained to June that Justice was very ill...the static and dizziness and chaos to follow, as the Alarm began to sound here in Headquarters.

The Worry Orbs move swiftly toward the Core Memory as though magnetized, swirling around its circumference like synchronized dancers. Their dark echoes whisper themselves to life upon the View.

 _"What if we get sick and-"_  
 _"What if he dies-"_  
 _"-if we can't see him anymore-"_  
 _"What if he never comes home-"_  
 _"-mom and dad get sick too-"_  
 _"What if it isn't going to be okay-"_

It seems horrible and endless, as endless as Fear has tried countless times to explain. Overwhelmed by the images and the whispers of the Worry Orbs, his entire body trembles and he attempts to step further back, only to be held fast by his chains. For a brief moment he is lost and locked in a sea of his own maddened panic. He can't move.

 _"June?"_

Fear draws the breath he'd been struggling to take and his eyes shift onto me. "Sadness…? Wh-what...what should I do?"

I reach for his hand, and softly, I guide him back toward the console. "Tell him. Let him know you're here."

This marks the very first time anybody has ever told him that he _must_ drive…almost. I'm certain the chains at his ankles made their point first.

 _"Hey…Come on, Junebug…what's going on? You can tell me. It'll be alright."_

Fear blanches, sinking his teeth into his lower lip. With great effort he drags his eyes down onto the console. He looks to me for guidance, and I mildly nod. Finally, he waveringly lifts his hand and studies a single button on the panel. Unsteadily, having to fight himself to do it, his arm begins to sink, and he lays the tips of his fingers along its smooth surface, pressing it after some deliberation. The button, and then the whole of the console, becomes his signature shade of violet.

June huddles into herself now, and she plays with her fingers. Even after being outside in the cold for so long she feels hot and her chest feels tight. Her whole body tingles with discomfort. Her eyes jerk frantically at the air directly before her nose.

Fear closes his eyes as June whispers in a frightened voice that is feather-light and nearly inaudible:

 _"I'm scared."_

His eyes flutter back open. He scoffs, relieved that it had been so easy all along, and begins to grin.

And then, his button chokes, the light he has created fizzles out, and the console returns to normal. Fear looks down to it in dismay. "Huh? What happened? What's going on?"

 _"Didn't catch that, June."_

I pat Fear's arm insistently. "You have to try again."

Fear looks to me and winces, wiping his sweaty palms on his vest before he tries a second time, pressing with just a little added force. The console flushes with his purple light once more.

 _"I'm scared,"_ June repeats, cowering now.

The light of the console sputters again and goes dark. Fear looks down to his hands, questioning them first, shaking his head, and then back to the panel.

…Denial…June is in denial, and she is trying to fight him back.

"Don't give up yet. You can't hide from the console anymore. He needs to hear you, Fear. Somebody _has_ to hear you. "

Fear looks back down to the button and determinedly presses it down.

 _"Justice…"_

And, cringing tearfully, he must press it again.

 _"Justice, I'm scared."_

And he grits his teeth holds it down beneath his palm, pressing it again.

 _"I'm scared. I'm really scared."_

His free hand flips a toggle and he clamps his eyes shut as the volume of June's voice increases. He reaches across the panel to trigger a key that causes her entire body shake and tremble, and he rotates a wheel that makes her bite her nails and tug at her braided hair. Fear spills tears of his own onto the surface of the console.

I take Fear's hand, knowing that this is devastating him. He can't see that he's done enough, that Justice, to tell from pained, understanding look in his eye, has heard him at long last.

Together, he and I hold down two respective buttons at once, and June bursts into hysterical tears.

 _"I'm so scared, Justice. I'm scared, I'm really scared, I'm really, really scared."_

 ** _THUD._**

Headquarters goes dark and the ultraviolet light that indicates the activation of the Alarm swallows up our few sources of light. There's a ringing building in June's ears and her heart begins to thunder, rocking the floor, the ceiling, the memories of June's recent nightmare rocking upon the shelves.

Fear's fingers grind painfully into mine, but we determine to keep our hands firmly upon the console. He and I exchange looks of desperation amidst the chaos.

And Justice, who has pulled June into his arms, speaks directly into June's ear, so that we can hear him even over all of the overwhelming noise.

 _"It's okay."_

Fear looks up. The Alarm's light instantly dims down and the ringing is fading away.

 _"It's okay, June. Of course you're scared. It's okay."_

Fear's hand trembles over the button he pins down. His lips part.

 _"…You've been fighting it all this time, huh? Trying to keep it all tucked away? And then it got the better of you. It took complete control."_

Slowly, Fear looks down to the chains at his ankles. He is overcome with sudden, belated awareness...and so am I.

 _"…Right?"  
"Y-yeah…"  
"But you know what? Telling someone about it was absolutely the right thing to do."_

The Alarm completely shuts down.

Justice pulls June close to his body and strokes her hair. _"I'm so proud of you. I know how hard that was. I couldn't be prouder of you, my brave little Junebug."_

Fear's Core Memory flickers and begins to emit a crackling sound. Simultaneously, Fear and I turn around watch as the vibrant purple orb develops thin, dark fissures that weaken its stability.

The Core Memory suddenly fades, becoming black and neglected, and begins to dissolve into Forgotten ashes before our eyes, dropping an object shaped like a key in its wake. I remove my hands off of the console, and June's tears melt into hiccups and sniffles as Justice strokes and pats her hair. I take the key off the floor and turn around again as a tiny smile comes to life upon my face.

Fear swallows wrings his hands together with wide, expectant eyes. I hold the key in both of my palms for him to see, and his jaw timidly drops.

"Fear," I say softly, "...I think this means...you're _free_."

* * *

 **Disclaimer: I do not own any characters or landmarks from Disney Pixar's _Inside Out._ Cover Image belongs to Creative-Dreamr on deviantART . com.**  
 **Thank you so much for reading. I appreciate all of the kind words and criticism! I hope this story resonates with anyone who can relate to June's experience and state of mind. Please enjoy! ~KQSimply  
**  
 *****UPDATE July 21st 2015: Had to change the title. It's been driving me nuts since Chapter 2. :C I'M SORRY. I REALLY SUCK AT TITLES. ( _Fic formerly titled Wound Tight._ )*** ~KQSimply**


	14. Sleep Tight

The other Emotions slowly begin to fill the main hub of Headquarters, crowding around Fear and I as we both behold the key that's been left behind by his now-forgotten Core Memory. I show it to Joy and Disgust, who are quickly intrigued and curious for an explanation, while Anger steadily watches the View, focusing his fierce eyes upon Justice…trying to resist a happy grin.

Fear is gradually beginning to take deeper, steadier breaths. He pans his head slowly to the View and listens to June as she quietly repeats all of her worries to Justice, telling him that she'd been stressed out about his condition and many other things for months. Fear smiles for her and folds his hands tenderly before his chest.

One by one, Justice puts to rest each little worry June has been harbouring. And with each sound explanation and sage bit of advice, the stray Worry Orbs floating about in the background begin to burst like fireworks in the background.

Fear appears warm and comforted. It is a first for him…a profound first. "I'm proud of you too, June," he sighs, with an honest nod for her.

While he isn't looking, Joy, who has taken the key into her hand, lowers the object into a slot in the console. How she knew this was its rightful place is beyond me, and that isn't even the _truly_ magical part – Fear doesn't feel as the chains at his feet blacken and fade, but he certainly becomes aware as their weights are suddenly lifted from his ankles after biting into them for so long. Fear looks down and realizes with truly priceless eyes that he's finally been set free.

Anger roughly pats his back and jostles him from behind by his shoulders, exclaiming "I'm proud of ya, pal!" and Joy throws her arms around his neck and laughs tearfully. Disgust takes him by the hand before Fear can bring his arms to return Joy's embrace, and he is lead well away from the View. Disgust, rare as it is for him to do, is beaming. "Look, see? Doesn't that feel good? Nothing holding _you_ prisoner anymore!"

Fear's smile is belated, but once it's fully grown, it's wonderfully contagious.

I know my time to celebrate with Fear is approaching. I let the others congratulate him on his new-found freedom and introduce him to the long-forgotten concept of being able to wander freely about Headquarters again, to be able to think about anything besides fueling June's worries and fears. Joy is telling him that the worst is over, that they can finally start rebuilding June's happy memories again, and just as he is in mid-nod, Fear's eyes flutter and roll momentarily into his skull.

I step forward. That was my cue.

I take Fear's left hand into both of mine, petting and smoothing his wrist until he lowers his gaze down to me, and we share a smile together. Then, I gently tug on his arm. His eyelids bob and he simply nods. Having understood one another, I begin to guide him away from the group and their excitement.

Offering a brief explanation to Anger and Disgust first, Joy skips to us and joins Fear on his opposite side, and together she and I help navigate Fear to the bedroom. He walks most of the journey blind, already half-asleep, hardly reacting beyond the odd blink when he trips over his feet or the ramp as we make our way up. His sleepy grin from earlier lives on, even as we enter our shared bedroom.

We sit him down on the edge of his bed. Fear drags his palms lovingly over the cool, soft covers as Joy and I work together to untie his shoes for him.

"…did you…did you hear what Justice said?" he is muttering, and Joy and I look up to him simultaneously. "…did you hear how he said that it's…okay for us to be afraid?...and here I thought I needed to be punished for it…I thought I needed to be forgotten…but maybe…maybe everything _is_ going to be okay…do you think?"

I nod, and I quietly say, "Yeah. I think so."

Fear smiles as Joy and I pull off his shoes and set them beside his bed. "…yeah…after all…just about anything…anything at all can happen…and we don't have any control over that…do we?"

"Nope," Joy replies with a grin as she works now on undoing his bow tie.

"…and...maybe that's a good thing…maybe that means _good_ things can happen, too…and I just need to stop fighting with myself so much…"

Joy straightens and lays her hands gently upon Fear's collar, lowering him down to the pillow before pulling the plush, purple-coloured blankets up over his shoulders. "What you _really_ need," she says, speaking very softly as he begins to curl up into what is nearly a fetal position, snuggling his face into the deep fluff of his pillow, "is to finally get some sleep. You really deserve it, Fear. We're so proud of you."

She leans in and kisses the corner of his eye. It's like watching her blow out a candle...Fear's eyes flutter closed, and he is out like a light, sleeping like a baby.

Joy and I tiptoe toward the door to let him have his solitude. She taps my shoulder before we exit and points out with a giggle we share that he is peacefully sucking his thumb.

I know this means things are going to go back to the way they used to be.

"Sleep tight, Fear," she whispers, and we close the door behind us.

* * *

Fear has been asleep for three entire days.

He slept straight through as Joy powered dozens and dozens of happy memories for June for the days to follow the incident with the hospital. I'm sure the first thing he'll ask about will be whether or not Mom and Dad were angry (they weren't). But we'll have to fill him in on lots of other things, too.

He missed the afternoon when June worked up the courage to apologize to Riley for missing her big game (the Prairie Dogs apparently lost anyway – she has invited us to her next practice, and June has said she'd be sure to go this time). He missed the day Justice told us his school has given him a bursary for university, and that the program he wants to go into is five years long. We're all glad to have heard him say it, because we're pretty sure it means he will be okay. After all, he can't agree to go to university if things aren't going to be…right?

But most importantly, Fear has slept through June's visit to the doctor.

Anger, Disgust, Joy and I are sitting on the couch now, and we're talking about what the doctor has told us about June.

"He'll be so relieved," Joy says. "You guys have no idea how long he's been blaming himself for all of this."

Anger throws his hands into the air and flops back into the cushions of the couch. "There you people go again, assuming the rest of us here don't have eyes or anything. I could have told you he had self-esteem issues _years_ ago."  
"So, why didn't you, smartass?" counters Disgust with a glare.  
"I had better things to do! Didn't think you'd all need me to hold your hands and explain your own _colleagues_ to you, so I just went about my business."  
"Oh. Yeah. Sure. Whatever." Disgust rolls his eyes and crosses his arms.

I swing my feet gently and bring my eyes up from the floor. "So…who do you think should tell him?"

Everybody looks at me.

"…Sadness," says Joy at last, just before the silence gets too uncomfortable, "you've been there for Fear since the very beginning. Well – metaphorically speaking, I guess. What I mean is, he really trusts you. Wouldn't _you_ like to tell him?"  
"The job's got your name written all over it, kiddo," Anger adds, and I assume this is meant to be a good thing.  
"It should _totally_ be you," Disgust says, and he nods, as though to close the topic. "You're like...his best friend."

I smile.

Yeah. I suppose I will tell him, maybe as soon as he wakes up. Or maybe I'll be subtle about it and help him find out on his own...I'll give it plenty of thought.

Learning that June has General Anxiety Disorder will take an enormous weight off of Fear's shoulders…and I think I actually want to be the first Emotion to watch what it could change for him.

* * *

 **Disclaimer: I do not own any characters or landmarks from Disney Pixar's _Inside Out._ Cover Image belongs to Creative-Dreamr on deviantART . com.**  
 **Thank you so much for reading. I appreciate all of the kind words and criticism! I hope this story resonates with anyone who can relate to June's experience and state of mind. Please enjoy! ~KQSimply  
**  
 *****UPDATE July 21st 2015: Had to change the title. It's been driving me nuts since Chapter 2. :C I'M SORRY. I REALLY SUCK AT TITLES. ( _Fic formerly titled Wound Tight._ )*** ~KQSimply**


	15. Butterflies

It's the last day of school before summer break. Everyone in Headquarters seems excited except for me – I'm sad because it means we won't see Riley every day anymore until next fall. Her family is planning a road trip in July, and I know that it's still far away…but I still get sad when I think about it. Riley was our very first friend. She's maybe not as close to us as she is with her best friend Meg, but we went to their hockey games in the winter, we played at her house…we even went to a sleepover, and we were only a tiny bit nervous. I missed home for a little while, but Riley made everything better. She's a very good listener.

"It'll be fine, Sadness. We have enough planned to keep us busy while she's away on vacation." Joy pats my shoulder. "Remember? We've got three new books to read, and Dad's going to start working on painting our new bedroom, and they'll be opening the new dog park on the south end…"  
"Yeah...I _guess_ so."  
"And who knows! Maybe while Riley's away that month, we can make some new friends."

I'd prefer to mope about it, but I keep that part to myself.

Fear paces up next to us, massaging his temples with his fingers. "We won't stand a chance at making new friends ever again for the rest of our _lives_ if we screw this stunt of yours up, Joy. Hey, y'know, since you happened to bring that up—" Wait, what? "-I'd like to put in another formal request to cancel this plan before we put it into action and just stay at our desk this afternoon."

"Ooh, shocker. Didn't see this one coming." Joy smirks at Fear almost tauntingly. She seems to know she's going to win this one. "I'm thinking you think too much, Fear."

Fear looks unimpressed. "Well, _yeah_. Thank you, Joy, for that eye-opening observation." He spreads his arms imploringly. "We don't _really_ have to go out with a bang, do we?"

"Why not? It's the end of the year. What better time to make a lasting impression on people than minutes before we leave them for a few months? What's the _worst_ that could happen?"

Fear starts counting off on his fingers. "Hmm, let's see—we could mispronounce a word, forget our own name, cry for no reason, wet ourselves in front of the class, do something stupid enough to make Riley dump us, forget how to read, bleed uncontrollably from our nose and die from eventual blood-loss, accidentally quote from the Book of the Dead and start a zombie apocalypse that takes over the whole school and—"

"Okayokay _okay_. I can't _believe_ I asked."

Fear frowns and places his hands on his hips. "You sure? You don't need me to go on? I've been up all night working on fifty-six other scenarios, you know, the list goes on and on. I'm just getting warmed up."

Joy bats a number of Worry Orbs away. I try to get rid of some too, though these ones are pretty tough. I see one that contains Riley Andersen rolling her eyes at us, and I frown, reaching to burst it with my finger. It proves to be a little too tough…I only succeed in making it get sad.

June walks into the class and opens up her desk. It's almost completely empty – we had to clean everything out yesterday. But there's a piece of loose leaf paper in there from a few days ago. She stares at it for a while.

"Well," groans Disgust, slouching his body at an indignant angle, "this project's definitely got _Fear's_ influence all over it. Nice hand-writing, Shakespeare. Your M's look like they need to be put out of their misery."

"I'm _sorry_."

Anger toddles up next to us and folds his arms tightly across his chest. The air around his head is beginning to swelter. "I, for one, am not going to be pleased if we just sit here. We agonized over the spelling, we made it t _hree paragraphs long_ , and we've been so worked up about the damned thing that it'd be a colossal waste to drop the idea. We either move, or I'll make a huge scene and tear this stupid thing up right now."

"No!" Fear puts his hands out. "Don't do that. Someone will see us and ask questions and we'll have no choice but to will ourselves to death. It'd be the only way out."

He gasps and looks up to the View as the teacher stands from her desk and begins to talk to the class about the year everyone has had. Its ups and downs, its ins and outs. The things everyone learned not only about the world, but about themselves. Joy rushes to the front of the console and folds her fists up by her cheeks. She almost looks like a boxer stepping up into the ring. "This is it. We're going to do this!" She shoves a joystick forward, and the console becomes a sunny yellow.

 _"Now, having said all of that, would anybody like to share their personal essays with the class and tell us what you've learned about yourself this year? Anyone?"_

A few hands start to go up around June…and the muscles in her arm twitch.

Joy grins and looks down to the console. There's a button there for her to press, and she's just about strike it when—

"No-no-no-no-no-no—second thoughts. Second thoughts here, Joy. Let's not."

Fear thrusts Joy's hand high above her hand and strikes the button she'd been aiming for instead. The console becomes violet…June eases, frowning, and pins her hands beneath her bottom on the chair.

We all groan a little. I try to keep it inside…but I know June has worked hard too.

"Aw, come on Fear, we talked about this."

"Yeah, I remember, and before I realized that the _entire class_ was going to show up for school today, I truly appreciated every word you said. But seriously, who shows up for school on the last day of the year? Cripes, why did _we?_ Okay, new plan: we tell the teacher we're going to throw up, then we _actually_ throw up, and then we get excused and we go home. I like that plan a lot better."

"Ew, Fear, that's _disgusting_." Guess who.

"No way," says Joy. "You told me we were in this together, and we're not going to back out now."

A boy in our class goes ahead of us and starts to read from his essay. I can barely hear him because Headquarters is starting to get rowdy. I step out of the way as Anger approaches the console. "Is anybody listening to this kid? His biggest accomplishment of the year was that dorky paper-mache volcano project of his. Magma doesn't look anything like baking soda and vinegar - All he did was make a mess! Our paper is _way_ better than his. We should go right after him."

"Great idea, Anger." Joy's tongue clings to her upper lip as she seizes the console's controls again.

"Aaand if someone else thinks the same thing of _our_ paper and goes after us with an outstanding essay?" Fear takes the controls back from Joy.

"So what?" quips Disgust. "Hel-lo-We've got the best English marks in the entire class. Let's just focus on that and do our thing."

"Right. Do our thing. Got it." Joy controls the console again as the boy finishes his essay and begins to return to his seat. The teacher asks if anyone else would like to share, and June starts to raise her hand.

"Our thing has been sitting at this desk day after day, getting top marks in this little secret class we host in June's head called Let's not Get Noticed By Anybody Ever. Let's do _that_ thing instead. We're really good at it."

Fear lands June's hand back down in her lap and she presses her lips together. Someone else stands up to give their presentation instead.

"No," says Joy, "We're good at lots of other things too. It's time to prove it to everybody. So, let's just get on up there and—"  
"Ahhhh, let's just not and say we did."  
"We should at least try and—"  
"No, I really think we shouldn't."  
"But couldn't we—"  
"Um, I'd rather not."

Yellow—violet—yellow—violet—I'm getting dizzy, and so is June.

A round button I'd thought was inactive all of this time suddenly begins to flash on the console, chirping for attention, and all eyes fall upon it. I've never seen it light up before.

"…What the heck is that?" Fear steps over to it, a finger approaching his teeth to be nibbled (though never quite arriving there).  
"I don't know." Joy furrows her brow. "Should we press it?"  
"Probably not. Could be a self-destruct button. We'd spontaneously combust, cause a scene, everyone would laugh…best just to leave it alone."  
"It doesn't look anything like a self-destruct button. It's got a butterfly on it."

Anger shrugs. "So press it. What's a butterfly gonna do?"  
"Really though," says Disgust. He smiles and fawns over it. "Aw. It's kind of cute."

Joy and Fear exchange glances with one another.

"…Let's just press it together. Okay? We'll let June decide who she wants to listen to."  
"Together? At the same time? Is that possible? Think it's safe?"  
Joy smiles and looks to me. "Don't you remember that time with Riley? The time she came to visit us, and Sadness and I crafted a memory together? June can handle all of us. _You_ said it yourself…she can handle anything."

Fear swallows loudly and looks down to the button. Joy lays her hand across it first, and Fear nervously follows suit, laying his palm over her knuckles. Together, they gently press.

A whirlwind of thousands of pastel-coloured butterflies, yellow and purple, burst from below console, fluttering around Joy and Fear's bodies before filling the air above our heads, keeping in a tightly-knit group together – if I took off my glasses and squinted they would almost look like one giant organism snaking through the air like the twisting tail of a tornado.

We watch as they begin to flood through the Transfer Tube; light from the window shines through their wings, and the entire main hub of Headquarters glitters with their erratic, exciting colour.

June gets a sensation in her belly that she's never been aware of before. She can't tell if it feels good or bad…but it causes her to regard her paper with a brand new twinkle in her eye.

Slowly, taking her precious, precious time, June begins to lift her hand off of her desk. Fear whimpers and dials codes into the console that causes June to keep her head ducked down, and her eyes stay as low to the floor as possible. "Easy, June, easy, don't rush..." The teacher, with a kind and rather surprised tone of voice, eventually calls on her.

This is the first time in her life June has ever volunteered to speak.

We arrive in front of the class just as the last of the butterflies make their way out of Headquarters, where I presume they continue to dance in June's stomach somewhere. We look back at our classmates. June's muscles begin to lock up tight.

"Ease up a little, Fear." He is hauling, now, on the lever that is causing June to lock up, even as Joy attempts to type commands for June to relax.  
"Sorry, sorry. I don't know my own strength someti—" He realizes how many eyes are on us and he begins to nervously tap buttons on the console. "Mayday, mayday, this was a _bad_ idea. There are too many kids in here and they are _all_ looking at us."  
"This is the best thing we've ever done. Just look at the page June – there we go." June thrusts the page up in front of her eyes. "See? It's just like the class was empty. We're going to do this exactly the way we practiced. Here we go."

Joy pushes two sliders forward. Fear covers his eyes with one hand, occasionally peeking through his fingers, while his other hand begins to slowly rotate a wheel on the console that causes June to tremble.

And then, she takes a deep breath and lets it go.

 _"…M-my name is June Olivia Mackenzie. I'm eight years old. ...My birthday is on June 19th, 2004. I have a dog named Ace who is a border collie mix. We like to play in the yard with Mom and Dad."_

Her mouth is dry. She swallows and grips the edges of her paper a little tighter.

 _"…My favourite class is English and Science. I also like to read, and sometimes I like to tell stories too. But my favourite thing is dancing. I hope one day I can sign up for classes. When I grow up I want to be a scientist, radio host, or a background dancer."_

I study the paper June is holding and I begin to frown. I know what's coming up next…and I know June will need me to be there for her. I walk in silence to the console…I'm not even sure Joy notices me as I step next to her torso. I feel Fear shaking against my opposite side as I reach my arms forward and begin to quietly operate the console beneath them.

June eyes the next paragraph and her eyes fill to the brim with tears.

"Whoawhoa, what's- _Sadness_! No! Not now, not in front of the entire class! Wait until we get home, _then_ we can cry ourselves into oblivion!"

I can't help it. I slowly look up to the page and prompt June to keep reading, to talk around the lump forming in her throat.

 _"….A-at Christmas…my big brother Justice got cancer…he was very sick, and…he had to stay in the hospital all winter…"_

June sniffles and we hear as her classmates begin to move in their seats. A quick glance upward proves that Riley is watching us, and she looks extremely concerned.

"Sadness, that's enough!" He pushes me aside, accidentally leaning his palm on a series of buttons. June swiftly wipes tears away from her cheeks.

 _"...After he was in the hospital, he found out he could go to university because his school really liked him and wanted him to get better and then go there…"_

Joy licks her lips and counters Fear's codes with ones of her own. She is reading the page too.

 _"…and then in April we found out that Justice's cancer is going away, and so he says he is going to start university next year if the doctors say he can. Everybody says he is going to be okay..."_

Fear freezes and looks up to the View, and his frantic breaths begin to gain some control. He straightens and rubs his hands together as June lowers the paper, looking at all of her classmates, and then to Riley, who is beaming at her from her seat. He doesn't return his hands to the console.

 _"…And I think he be okay will too."_ She gulps and says with finality, _"That's what I learned about myself this year. Thank you."_

And we cheer. Headquarters cheers louder for June than the whole of her class ever could - even with someone like Riley in it.

June smiles. And the thing to accompany this proud, overjoyed smile is a new Core Memory.

It's purple, but Fear breathes a big sigh of relief to see that winding through its body like a round coil spring is a bright path of Joy's golden yellow. It proudly takes the place of Bashful Island's Core Memory, and with bursts of yellow and violet lights, the lonely girl who had once sat in hiding is now a happy, blushing statue surrounded by clouds of lovely butterflies, still visibly shy and anxious...but so very, very proud of herself for standing up to her fears and converting them to something hopeful, in the face of hopelessness.

Anxiety will never truly stop _her_.

Fear leaves the console entirely as June makes her way back to her desk through the clapping from her classmates. He presses his hands against the window and watches as the mechanic butterflies of the island spin about and dance around the little figurine and he laughs, breathless but giddily. I eventually leave the console as well, to join him by his side and offer him the biggest smile I possibly can, which is still little in comparison to Joy...but I want him to understand.

"...Oh, Fear...it's wonderful."

Fear turns back to the View, watching as June plays fiercely with her fingers beneath the continuing applause from the children in the class. She's breathless and cannot stop smiling. She's so happy.

He draws a deep, peaceful breath, and he smiles, closing his hands before his heart. "...She really is, isn't she?"

* * *

 **Disclaimer: I do not own any characters or landmarks from Disney Pixar's _Inside Out._ Cover Image belongs to Creative-Dreamr on deviantART . com.**  
 **Thank you so much for reading. I appreciate all of the kind words and criticism! I hope this story resonates with anyone who can relate to June's experience and state of mind. Please enjoy! ~KQSimply  
**  
 *****UPDATE July 21st 2015: Had to change the title. It's been driving me nuts since Chapter 2. :C I'M SORRY. I REALLY SUCK AT TITLES. ( _Fic formerly titled Wound Tight._ )*** ~KQSimply**


	16. Fear's Epilogue

Fear, here.

I'm sure by now you've come to expect Sadness' account of things, so to those I've disappointed by being here today, you have my sincerest apologies. It wasn't exactly my idea to catch everybody up to speed _personally_ anyway, but let's just say I should have seen this coming a while ago. The rest of the gang work hard to make me the best elected leader of June's Headquarters I can be…it's just unfortunate that the position comes with some forms of needing to address the, ah…public, or whatever you might call yourselves, with important updates like these. Still not overly comfortable with this sort of thing, but hey, it's a work in progress. I'm getting better.

June is sixteen now. Scary thought, isn't it? But I'll have you know that in spite of many ups and her fair share of downs, she is still as wonderful as ever, and we're all doing just fine, even after all of the changes that took place over the last eight years. Our console has expanded and the other Emotions have gained new tastes and...interests (I'll expand on that in a moment, here) and Headquarters is changing too, for the best I think. Disgust is doing a great job with adjusting things around here to June's acquired taste and style. June's Islands of Personality are still standing strong, and there have been dozens of expansions and improvements. The one Joy and I created has shifted to the middle, and stands as the only one that hasn't changed over the years. I'm not certain it ever will, but to be completely honest, I've grown attached to seeing it out there every day. It starts up when June is especially shy or embarrassed – the butterflies in the attraction hide the statuette entirely so that it can't be seen anymore – but it also starts up when she's about to do something that gives her a little thrill. It's kind of a reminder that being afraid isn't always necessarily a _bad_ thing. You could say I think of it as a trophy Joy and I can share…but listen, don't tell her I said that.

Living with Anxiety isn't exactly a picnic, let me tell you. It was especially difficult when she was little, in the sense that it was much harder for me to watch her endure it. No child should ever have to suffer with worry. Of course everybody worries about _something_ at any given point in their daily lives – we worry about our decisions, our loved ones and our futures… That's natural. It's when it gets in the way of being a kid, or of being yourself, that it can cause some major issues. And that, my friends, is where the problem of Anxiety comes in.

Turns out June has multiple Anxiety Disorders, which definitely explains why I'm always so exhausted when it's time to turn in. She has a bad habit of worrying too much over a general mix of rational and irrational things, and we're constantly asking ourselves questions like "What if I left my hair straightener on?" or "Did I just make a huge mistake?" or "What will I do if Mom or Dad call me at school and say that someone in the family has died?" And as if that wasn't troubling enough, she also has Social Anxiety, which makes it difficult for her to make new friends or go out in certain public places. She and I aren't fond of overly crowded malls, trying to make small-talk, unknown numbers calling us on the phone, or class introductions. _Especially_ class introductions. _Yeesh_. The teacher has our name written on a list – _come on!_ Does he really need us to go on and on about who we are in front of a number of people we may or may not know? I just don't get it.

I'd like to say those infamous chains haven't made a reappearance in the last several years, but it'd be a pretty rotten lie on my part. Actually, they've come back for me dozens of times since their first arrival. In addition to lending me the ability to craft what Sadness calls Worry Orbs, those little whispers and imaginations about unwanted situations that may or may not happen, I believe Anxiety is also responsible for those chains that root me to the console. They appear when there's some event or baseless worry that June and I are truly dreading for far too long. Sometimes the matter is serious, and other times, in the end, really quite trivial. I had the "pleasure" of being chained to the console again just last May for three days due to stressing over the year's final exam. It's not fun. It's _exhausting_. We don't sleep, we don't eat, and we've learned that the presence of those chains interfere with Joy's ability to steer the console properly. Sadness usually winds up doing just as much driving as I do, and Anger becomes a lot more active and frustrated, sort of out of nowhere. He's usually fairly level-headed...June isn't angry very often as a result, if you haven't noticed. We did keep that key that fell from my Core Memory, though for whatever reason, it only works when it wants to, which tends to be whenever the situation that brought the chains upon me in the first place starts to die down. Sometimes. Other times, as much as I hate it, I have to be a little more patient. But I can't blame June. I blame her Anxiety.

I'm not clear on the technical specifics of Anxiety, like where it came from, or how to make it go away entirely, but I _do_ know that Anxiety and Fear aren't the same thing (and what a relief _that_ conclusion was!), and to me, that's a pretty good start. It causes me to behave a little…hyperactive, sometimes. We'll put it that way. Amusingly enough, a counselor June was talking to once made the ironic comparison of Anxiety to an _overly sensitive home security device_ …come on, you know, like an _alarm_. Alarms are meant to protect you and send out warning signals that danger is present, prompting Fright-or-Flight responses in your body, whichever is more necessary. This is normal. _I'm_ here to protect you with those after all. But when that alarm is going off too frequently when it isn't necessary…Well, that's not so normal, obviously. It's a huge pain, actually, and it causes confusion, headaches, and unnecessary panic. I guess that's why they call Anxiety at this level a "disorder".

The Alarm is still sitting up there above our heads, and yes, it still works. But I'm happy to report that I've been able to keep it under control—for, uh, the most part. It goes off maybe two or three times a year, now, tops. The last time it went off, June had been driving Dad's car, and we accidentally ran a red light. No one was hurt, thank God; in fact, I don't even think any other driver noticed – I pulled her over, we sat for a moment and attempted to collect ourselves…and suddenly, it went off, like clockwork. There wasn't much I could have done at that point. A while back, the Alarm started to go off a little less frequently – especially in the few years shortly after June first learned that she had an Anxiety Disorder. I blame the onset of puberty for the recent increase in June's panic attacks – which, we learned, is the _actual_ definition of what happens when the Alarm goes off. We've established a routine, by now: when the Alarm sounds we abandon ship. We tuck aside and keep ourselves together, and we stay _away_ from the console. It is too tempting to try to use it to change the situation, and in our own panic, the thing can get badly damaged and is very time-consuming to repair, which is unhealthy for June. As difficult as this is for me, I try to turn everything over to Joy…she can usually fix just about anything, if June is willing to listen to her. The Worry Orbs I produce make it difficult for June to _want_ to listen, but Joy has a positive answer for everything, and when those fail, we recall music. Joy and music go together in June's head like peanut butter and jam.

Another amazing force that gets us through our panic attacks is Riley Andersen. Yeah, even after all of these years, she's stayed an important part of our lives. We're really lucky she reached out to us when she did. Took us a few tries, but eventually we managed to tell her about our panic attacks, and three times so far, in the midst of the chaos of the attack, I'll turn to the View and realize that her vision is clearing up, that the noise is winding down, and I'll watch as June reaches out for her.

 _"riley are you there  
im seriously freaking out right now  
can we please talk?"_

And no matter what she was doing previously, we'll get what is very nearly an instant response via our cell or on Skype, if we happened to be near the computer.

 _"Yes. Where are you? Can I call?"_

She's patient, she's level, and she listens. Sometimes, that's all June really needs. Yep...Riley's a truly amazing gal. I'd love to meet the folks over in _her_ Headquarters and shake Fear Andersen's hand. I bet we'd get along.

Riley moved away to San Francisco when June was eleven. Sadness was heartbroken, of course, but we banded together for her and reminded her that this _is_ the age of technology. So, June Skypes with Riley for a little while almost every night. We get caught up on her hockey games and hear all about the drama she's encountered at her high school. Sounds to me as though all high schools are the same. Tedious, frustrating, god-awful…yet irresistibly charming!

Speaking of high school, June is handling it very well - better than she thought she would. She strives to be a straight-A student (Disgust would have it no other way) and we've managed to make a couple of close friends, which, believe me, is a huge deal. As well, June has aspirations of – get this – becoming a _journalist_. It's comes from her mixed love for radio show hosts and her love of telling stories all of the time. _And_ , she's even signed up for a few extra-curricular activities. On Mondays and Wednesdays she helps out at the school library, and on Thursdays, she signed up for after-school dance classes, which was sort of against my wishes for a number of reasons – the other kids seemed so much cooler than us, for one. And their outfits? Ba-arf. Dad would have a _conniption_ and ground us for the rest of the school year if we left the house in an outfit like _that_ – but I figured it was only fair to let Joy make the decision, there…she powered Dancer Island up in the first place, after all, and now that June's been involved in the classes for quite a while, it doesn't seem like it was such a bad choice after all. It's a great outlet for June, and I still get to help her out. I count her steps, making sure she lands each one in perfect time. We perform once a year, and I'll be the first to admit it, I get pretty stressed out on the nights leading up to it. I keep her up at late and dream up enough Worry Orbs to make her want to back out permanently. But she's never listened to me. _Thank goodness_. We perform, and let's be honest here—we rock. And to help us get through the performance, I get to deploy those butterflies June's come to love. It feels so good to do something for her she can honestly appreciate in the end...she's told her friends that the butterflies are sometimes her favourite part about performing.

Shucks, June, it's the least I can do!

Well...actually, as you might recall, Joy can activate that very same button, and so I'm sure it's the _association_ that June likes about the butterflies in her stomach. But Joy has her own reasons for playing around with that tool on the console. Don't you, Joy?

Uh…Joy? Hello? Fear to Joy, do you copy?

..Aaaand this brings me to our next development. Joy's latest obsession, let's call it. First of its kind, I guess, so I suppose I can be thankful that it hasn't been following me around for _too_ long, because I'm already over it.

It? Yeah. It's name is Todd Kavanaugh. We share a biology class with him. Talk about your unromantic place to meet a guy – the life of worms and natural decomposition… _Tasty_! – and yet, Joy can't get seem enough of him. She replays memories of him over and over again on the View when we're _supposed_ to be studying, or holds onto them late at night and just laughs and giggles at…nothing. It's so _weird_. I'm pretty sure I hate it.

 _"Hey June…?"  
_ "Yes, Todd?" Joy answers, talking over June's reply from the memory. Not that June sounded _anything_ like THAT.  
 _"About last night's assignment: what did you get for question six? I think it's "Nucleus". Is that what you got?"  
_ "Oh…absolutely, Todd, I would LOVE to be your lab partner for the next ten assignments. I'm so glad you finally asked."

Yikes. I don't know who needs their heads checked more: me, or Joy.

I'm not fond of this particular ordeal. At all. Todd is a year older than June (three little words for you guys: PROBABLY. HELD. BACK.), wears t-shirts of bands we've never heard of and can't find anywhere on Google, and when he looks at us with his hazelnut eyes (why do I keep calling them that?!) I get so uncomfortable I can't sit still and I seize the console, entering all of the Flight response codes I can think of, but nothing works quite the way it's supposed to. June's hands sweat and her chest feels tight, her heart skips a beat and she loses track of time. I'm telling you, he's a _disease_. I don't care how handsome or smart or funny he is, or how good he is at basketball, or how kind he was for picking up an apple June dropped on her way to her locker once (she kept it until it _caved in_ ) that boy spells trouble. He's totally cooler than us in every way and he is WAY out of our league so we shouldn't even bother hoping for his attention. So there.

...Though, once in a while...I wonder if he'd be just as good at taking care of her as I am?

Anyway, moving right along, I would love to give you an update on Justice. Haven't talked about him yet, have I? His cancer is in complete remission these days, and he has been studying Child Psychology at a university in San Francisco. Calls June his _inspiration_. He's partially the reason why June wasn't utterly crushed when Riley moved away, because when we go to visit him, we have a perfect excuse to visit Riley too. None of us are fond of the three-day drive, but it's only once a year, and it's perfectly worth it. Though I've tried, I still can't help but worry, sometimes...about his health, what will happen if the cancer ever comes back, or if he's pushing himself too hard in school...Ugh, here I go again. It's hard not to worry about someone who looks out for you the way he does. One of June's worst fears - you could even call it a phobia - is the death of a family member. It was truly devastating when we had to say goodbye to Ace. Even after all we've been through, I can say with confidence that it was one of the worst times of June's life, bar none. So we can't imagine what it would feel like if it was our own brother.

But, Justice is aware of this now. He calls once in a while and asks specifically for June, and he fills us in on his life, the shenanigans he's gotten up to at uni that we're not supposed to tell Mom or Dad (I think we should - Joy, Anger and Disgust are VERY against letting me), and reminds us to stop worrying. He never updates us on his health.

 _"What do you need to know that for? None of your business."_  
 _"Justice-"_  
 _"Seriously. I don't need to give you daily newsflashes about my bodily fluids, do I? Okay, maybe I do. How's this: I took a piss an hour ago and I spat on the way home from class-"_  
And then Disgust shoves me out of the way, shouting "UGH! WHAT THE ! #$ IS HE TRYING TO DO TO ME?!"

I guess Justice has a valid point. What would we do with that kind of information anyway, besides worry about it? We're going to worry about it anyway...but why make it worse for ourselves? Justice is a great guy. Maybe the greatest. I have him to thank for everything. We are who we are today because of him.

Well...and because of ourselves, I suppose. Because of Sadness, and Joy, and Anger and Disgust. And me, though I don't necessarily like to admit it.

I'm not proud of the things I've caused June to experience, whether it was truly my doing or not. I hate making her worry about things. I hate watching what it does to her. I hate overreacting when the Alarm goes off, and every time I see a memory of mine on its way to Long-Term, I feel responsible for causing her discomfort. Once in a while...I even hate myself. I'll admit it. I'd say that the Fear inside of _your_ head probably feels the same way about the memories they create for you, even if the fears you harbour are completely legitimate. Maybe something awful happened to you in the past that you can't forget about because of us. Maybe you think you're afraid of something you think is trivial, like spiders, failing school or never falling in love with somebody. Believe me when I say that no matter what, we've got your best interests in mind. We're not trying to make your lives difficult...we're trying to help you. Sometimes we just help too much. And when that happens, I can safely say that we are sorry for the discomfort we cause you. We mean the best, but sometimes, we only make it worse.

But whatever you do...whether you suffer from Anxiety or not, do _not_ let your fears define who you are.

Don't let them hold you back. You can do anything you set your mind to, no matter how many Worry Orbs it is filled with. Sounds cheesy, I know, but hey - just take a look at June. This is the girl who couldn't say 'hello' without choking, who couldn't look a stranger in the eye without losing her breath, who couldn't physically bear a drop of bad news. She's made it far enough to start chasing after dreams I didn't know she had until recently. Anxiety slows her down, some days...but it definitely isn't about to stop her.

Her story is just beginning...but it's here to ask you to keep that in mind about yourself. Forgive your fears and keep growing in spite of them. Don't let them stop you.

Who knows where you'll end up. After all..what if it winds up being a truly great place?

Thanks, gang. You've all been great.

-Fear

(Hey, would you look at that - I made it to the end without passing out! I'd call that an unqualified success.)

* * *

 **Had an absolute blast writing this lil fic. Thanks again to everyone who was so kind and encouraging while I was working on it, and I really appreciate all of the excellent feedback and criticism.**

 **A sequel of sorts may or not be in the works, but there is no telling whether or not I will publish it - I don't want to bore anyone or go overboard with this storyline, but writing the epilogue gave me too many ideas for a second part. I'd also be more than happy to read any suggestions people may have for me.**

 **Thanks again to everyone who stuck around this long :) It means a ton to me!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own any characters or landmarks from Disney Pixar's _Inside Out._ Cover Image belongs to Creative-Dreamr on deviantART . com.**


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